tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post1548304472038490081..comments2023-04-30T07:22:29.187-04:00Comments on "These fragments": Wondering Wednesday: Personal Thoughts about Rape and the Objectification of WomenTiffany Wacaserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224661646987749451noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-68155022290241778262016-09-09T11:35:20.463-04:002016-09-09T11:35:20.463-04:00@ Nicole Salisbury,
Thank you for reading, and sh...@ Nicole Salisbury,<br /><br />Thank you for reading, and sharing. I really think we need to be more open about this to have any hope of changing things.<br /><br />@ Bobi Jensen,<br /><br />I've thought a lot about how we share experiences because we grew up together, but yet how those experiences were also different. I'm glad we talk about them now and process them. You were a good friend then and a good friend to me now. I'm glad we have reconnected.<br /><br />@Luisa Perkins,<br /><br />I really look up to you as a model for parenting. I am so sorry that you were raped. That breaks my heart for you. But I'm also really in awe of you for the person you are, the family relationships you have established, and for the ways you develop and build your talents. I love you, my friend.<br /><br />@ Marlena,<br /><br />I also appreciate your insight and thoughts, especially with your perspective as an ER nurse who comes up close and personal with the immediate after effects of rape. I know you probably don't ever see the outcome, but I imagine your compassion and kindness does mean something to those women. Thanks for sharing.Tiffany Wacaserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08224661646987749451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-35926892727623213692016-09-09T11:31:13.095-04:002016-09-09T11:31:13.095-04:00From my friend, Marlena of Mohegan:
Part 2:
I wa...From my friend, Marlena of Mohegan:<br /><br />Part 2:<br /><br />I was shocked to learn (believe it or not from "Law and Order SVU") that not all rape kits are processed promptly. New York City has made sure that the kits are processed right away and have seen an increase in convictions because of this. Other municipalities store the kits for months or years. The quality of the specimens naturally is at risk and finding the rapist becomes less than likely. <br /><br />The adolescent teasing during puberty surely exists in every school. Those who mature earlier or later than the majority of teens are most at risk for the ribald comments, bra-snapping and "accidental" gropes. That these behaviors are tolerated are just another step in the lack of respect which led to the ridiculous punishment for Brock Turner. His father didn't want his life to be "ruined" because of a few moments of "action". Schools and parents need to be responsible to curb this attitude instead of writing it off as a natural stage of growing up or what used to be called "sowing one's wild oats". <br /><br />I have tremendous respect for Elizabeth Smart who is doing so much for victims of sexual assault. She is a beacon of hope as she shows others that self-worth is not diminished by someone else's crime. She has challenged those who teach that virtue is like a piece of chewing gum and cannot be reclaimed once it has been "chewed". <br /><br />Reporting a rape brings a lot of scrutiny of the victim’s manner of dress, previous promiscuity and social habits. At BYU the victim may be expelled because of an honor code violation which placed her in a "risky" situation. It isn't hard to understand why a victim might choose not to report the crime.<br />Tiffany Wacaserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08224661646987749451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-65092595277946353762016-09-09T11:30:19.922-04:002016-09-09T11:30:19.922-04:00From my friend, Marlena of Mohegan
Part 1:
I thi...From my friend, Marlena of Mohegan<br /><br />Part 1:<br /><br />I think the reason we hear about more rape is in part due to the changing definition of rape. In the past "date rape" and "marital rape" were not even considered to be crimes. I think women were conditioned to think of certain situations as a direct result of having "asked for it" and therefore their own fault. <br /><br />In my 35 years of being an ER nurse I have cared for countless victims of rape and other assaults. A rape victim must endure what surely feels like a second assault in order to provide evidence for the prosecution. I tried very hard to make the exam as gentle as possible but I hated this part of my job. <br /><br />The victim, who hopefully has not showered, changed clothes and has come directly to the ER after the event must remove all clothing, including underwear, while standing on a clean sheet spread out on the floor. All articles of clothing and debris are packaged up. The nurse must comb out the hair of the head and pubic area for additional debris. Any dried fluids must be swabbed and preserved. Fingernails must be scraped for possible retained skin cells or blood from the attacker. The nails are then cut and clippings are retained. Bruises and other injuries are photographed. All orifices must be swabbed for DNA and other fluids. A pelvic exam is done with specimens obtained for DNA testing, VD, and semen. Blood is drawn for HIV and pregnancy. We must pluck twelve scalp hairs and twelve pubic hairs which are compared with any hairs found with the debris combings. Hopefully a volunteer from the rape crisis center has been able to stay with the patient through all this humiliation. The volunteer may have brought clean clothing for the victim to wear home otherwise hospital garb is worn home. These exams are hard enough on on a lucid adult but I've done them on children and mentally handicapped patients. Some nurses have special training and are on call. They are called SANE nurses (Sexual assault nurse examiner) and make themselves available even when they are not scheduled to work. I take my turn but have not volunteered for extra duty. The specimens must be carefully handled, swabs must be dried so there is no mold or other deterioration during storage. There is a strict chain of evidence followed for the "rape kit" to be placed with the police so that it will hold up in court. <br />Tiffany Wacaserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08224661646987749451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-88378441325218173572016-09-08T15:25:08.554-04:002016-09-08T15:25:08.554-04:00Amen, Tiffany. Every mother needs to figure out ho...Amen, Tiffany. Every mother needs to figure out how to teach her sons and her daughters these things. I was raped by someone I knew. Luisa Perkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15310698422276446909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-45939360444398869572016-09-08T12:59:35.575-04:002016-09-08T12:59:35.575-04:00This meant a lot to me. I enjoyed reading your th...This meant a lot to me. I enjoyed reading your thoughts as we went through these stages in our own worlds but near each other a lot.Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325323651478677418.post-4558590220500951022016-09-08T12:44:22.024-04:002016-09-08T12:44:22.024-04:00This made me cry. I absolutely agree. Thank you fo...This made me cry. I absolutely agree. Thank you for sharing!!! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05766587585988851337noreply@blogger.com