Rooted and Restless

Yesterday my husband and I closed the deal on a new window set for our living room and two sliding glass doors for our kitchen and study. While feeling trepidation about the cost (windows are expensive) we knew the work needed to be done. I awoke this morning thinking about the new windows and the cost.

My back deck and backyard a week ago after a big snowstorm.

My Facebook and Instagram feeds this morning were full of exciting and beautiful pictures. One friend is currently on a pilgrimage in India. My cousin shared a witty anecdote about backpacks and the differing personalities between she and her husband as they navigate life in Sri Lanka. Another friend who currently lives in Prague was visiting Dubai with her husband and shared beautiful pictures of the skyline there. As I looked at those pictures, I felt deeply envious. I know the rush that comes from trying to figure out a challenge in a foreign country. I know the awe one feels when encountering ancient and exquisite architecture. I know how alive I feel when living in a new country and how fascinating it is to learn about that new country and culture.

A view of Caeaserea in Israel from the amphitheater. This was one of the most interesting places I have ever visited.

Suddenly my window purchase felt boring, mundane, and settled. For what we just promised to pay, we could have easily made the trip to Sweden that we have been longing to take for several years. The conflicting parts of my personality raged up and clashed. We bought our home three and a half years ago after years of dreaming and hoping about home ownership. I get a happy little kick in my heart when I pull up my driveway and park. I have spent hours outside mowing the lawn, raking leaves, weeding flower beds, and tending to our vegetable garden with varying degrees of success. We are trying to set down roots in our community through volunteer projects, school involvement, and meeting new people. My kids are settled in their schools. At the moment, we plan to stay for at least a few more years yet.

My hydrangea bush/tree was out of control with incredible blossoms last summer. The butterflies and bees loved it. It was absolutely magical. 

But there is another part of me anxious and bored, longing for adventure and excitement abroad. It is the part of me that is only partially appeased with trips to the city to explore a museum or a trip upstate. It is the part of me that complains that I haven't gone anywhere or done anything-despite two trips to Wyoming, two trips to Kentucky, a trip to Albany, a few trips up to the Adirondacks,a fun weekend in Cleveland, and a cool little trip to Philadelphia last year. I am traveling plenty. It doesn't help that ten years ago we were living in Israel and five years ago we were in Riyadh. So putting in new windows in comparison with exploring ancient cultures seems kind of lame.

Enjoying the pool in Riyadh. 

I know the antidote to all of this is gratitude, but I want to indulge in a little envious dreaming of foreign climes. I really hope that we get another opportunity to travel and live overseas again.

Do you ever feel torn between two very different lives? How do you negotiate that?

Throwback Thursday: Suffering through a Saudi Summer

As summer in New York comes to a close, I am reminded of the summer of 2012 when we lived in Riyadh and stayed there during the summer, at a time when most expats flee the oppressive heat for home and hopefully, cooler climes. That summer was quite memorable as I recount with the blog post, Suffering Through a Saudi Summer.


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Travel Tuesday: KSA Memorabilia

I'm in the midst of a major clean-out at my house. No drawer, cubby, closet, or bin is safe from me. I came across some pieces of memorabilia when we lived in Saudi Arabia. Since I'm short on time, I quickly snapped photos and then posted a few memories and comments about the items on my Instagram account. I'm reposting screenshots here in honor of the 18 months we spent in Saudi Arabia.

Curious about our experiences in Saudi Arabia? Check out my blog, In a Maze of Beige, for all the details.
© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Travel Tuesday: A Visit to Jeddah and the Red Sea

Facebook reminded me that three years ago, my family were swimming in the Red Sea and admiring the fish we saw. Jeddah is a coastal town on the Red Sea and has been an important port city for centuries. Rumors abound among the expat community about private beaches and resorts that allow only westerners to enjoy snorkeling, sun bathing, and swimming without the typical restrictions of abayas and religious police (AKA--the Muttawa).

Our family did some covert operations and found a hotel and resort we could stay at. I can't reveal the hotel because it really is a secret and they like to keep it that way so they can continue to operate without interference.


Right after school ended, we headed to the airport and flew to Jeddah. A friend and colleague of my husband's picked us up and showed us around his home town. He even showed us where the Osama Bin Laden family complex was located. That was kind of wild.

My impressions of Jeddah were a little disappointing. Like Riyadh, a lot of the home exteriors are really dumpy and gross. Trash is everywhere. I don't know why I was surprised because even in the desert, you have to go really far away from people to escape the trash. Interestingly enough, my dad's cousin and her children lived in Jeddah in the 1980s. Two of my friends in my ward lived in Jeddah as well in the 1980s.

Fortunately the resort was amazing. We opted to stay right on the beach in a couple of bungalows so that we could spend all day and evening on the beach and in the ocean.

We found out they offered scuba certification lessons. This is something both my husband and I have always wanted to do. Because I was pregnant and someone needed to watch the kids, the kids and I decided that giving scuba certification lessons to my husband would be the best Father's Day present. And it was the best present. He was able to get one-on-one training and practice. He really loved his experience.

We purchased snorkel sets for each person in the family. We taught the little kids how to breathe and swim with the snorkels on in a salt water pool at the resort. I really thought that Jonathan and Brooke wouldn't be able to learn. But they did! Especially Jonathan. Once he put his face in the water and saw all the fish, he was hooked. He saw as much as possible.

We spent hours in the water swimming around and exploring.

We played on the sand and caught hermit crabs.

We ate yummy food and enjoyed delicious drinks from the on-site restaurant.

It was a wonderful experience. I am so glad we got to visit Jeddah.

Throwback Thursday: That Time I Lived in Saudi Arabia

(Sorry about the brevity of the more recent blog posts. I'm actually trying to get ready for a trip and am pre-writing posts.)

For Throwback Thursday, I was thinking about the eighteen months my family  lived in Saudi Arabia. People are always intrigued when I tell them that I lived in Riyadh. I kept a great blog, In a Maze of Beige about our experiences.

We really enjoyed our time there. I would go back if we ever got a chance. Here is a piece I wrote about the things I liked about Saudi Arabia.

Have you ever lived in an unusual place that people wondered if you could actually enjoy? What was it like? What did you like about it?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Throwback Thursday: The Year Halloween Was Cancelled

For a few days, my husband and I went house hunting for a place to live in Saudi Arabia. After a lot of fruitless searching, we finally found a place that would accept us, had enough room for our large family, and had some great pool features.

In the evening, after a funny and late dinner at Tony Romas, my husband said goodbye as I flew back to New York and our children. He stayed behind to work.

I landed in New York and then was picked up by a friend who drove me home. I was so happy to see my children. We snuggled and caught up. I was ready to step back into my mom role.

The next morning, disaster struck. I noticed that my kids were itching their heads and found lice crawling around. I cut the boys hair and did a lice treatment. Then I tackled my daughter's hair, which was hard because her hair is long and hard to comb through thoroughly. It was yucky, but I knew the protocol and kept moving forward.

And then, the storm hit New York. It was an early fall storm that hit us with a lot of heavy snow which knocked out power lines all over the area. We lost power and school was canceled. Our little house seemed to be faring okay. I put all the kids in one room and we had a little heater I could turn on to get things warmed up for a bit.

But I confess, I wasn't handling the disruption well. I was tired and stressed. I wanted my husband home to help us cope with the emergency and he was thousands of miles and oceans away. Our conversations deteriorated as he tried to help me over the phone and I told him the only help I wanted was for him to come home. (Yes, I was being a baby, but it had been a hard couple of years and I was just about at the end of my rope.)

I desperately wanted to find a hotel to hole up in with the kids but all the hotels were booked. My husband wasn't so keen on me getting a hotel because of the cost, but I was desperate...

The whole area was hit hard and Halloween was cancelled in most towns because the power lines were down and the lights were out. I felt terrible telling my children there would be no trick or treating that year.

The last straw came when I noticed the lice crawling in my daughter's hair. At that point, I knew we were done for.  All of us had been sleeping in the same room and were probably all infected by that point.

I lost it. My sister called and I just cried and cried. My husband called and I cried (and yelled) some more. Finally, one brave friend called and listened to my plight. Without hesitation, she asked us to come and stay in her house. Just as she made her offer, our power came back on and I realized we would be okay. I started laundry and de-licing again.

As I look back on that event, I feel like laughing and crying. I think if the same thing were to happen to me now, I would probably handle it much better. BUT I am in a much different place. I am healthier, less stressed, well-rested, and not living with uncertainty. At the time, our family had been under a period of sustained stress. While we were mostly managing, we weren't emotionally prepared to cope with the disaster. I hope I would be less proud and reach out to friends for help sooner. I also think I would go  north to find a hotel if I really wanted one.

Have you ever had a disaster or emergency that knocked you flat and with which you were unable to cope?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED