Showing posts with label family life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family life. Show all posts

Monday, August 15, 2016

Mothering Monday: Getting Ready for School

In just two and half weeks all my kids will return to school. It sure went by fast, as it always does. With five kids in three schools, it does take some maneuvering to get everyone ready for school while keeping to our budget.

Prep Work

I find it wasteful and extravagant to purchase new clothing, new shoes, and completely new supplies for the new school year, so I always assess our stores and current situation before buying new items.

1) Clothing: We clean out each child's closet thoroughly and then assess the condition, size, and function of each item. I throw away any item that is stained, torn, or worn out. Some items my kids won't wear-for whatever reason and so I prepare those for charity. I then count quantities of pants, shorts, underwear, socks, long-sleeve shirts, and short-sleeve shorts. In general, I like to have 5 pairs of pants, 5 pairs of shorts, five long-sleeve shirts, and five short-sleeve shirts. My boys like hoodies, so we make sure they each have 1-2 hoodies in good condition.

2) Shoes: I only replace shoes as they are worn out or needed for an event. This year, three of my kids needed new shoes for school. I check the shoe situation every few months and we buy new shoes as needed.

3) School Supplies: There is so much waste at school with notebooks, crayons, markers, etc. At the end of the year, my kids have brought home empty notebooks that only had one or two pages marked. I throw out any worn or broken supplies and then sort the usable supplies into groups. Then I pull out the necessary supplies from the school list. Any items we don't have, I plan a shopping trip with a detailed list.

4) Backpacks and coats: I do not replace backpacks or coats unless they are damaged or worn out. I purchase high quality backpacks and coats at our wholesale club with the intention that they will be used/worn for two or more years.

Shopping

I compile a shopping list based on the needs and holes left after assessing our resources. I plan a trip to a location that has a good selection of modestly priced stores. One shopping complex about 30 miles from my home has a Walmart, Target, Kohls, an outlet mall, and a wholesale club. Its almost one-stop shopping which is great in my book.

If our budget allows, I will buy one new outfit for each child. You may be cringing with horror at thought of the kids using hand-me-downs or not getting brand new items. The fact is, I make sure my kids have decent clothes in good condition. I feel like it is wasteful not to use the things we have well. We do buy new items, but only when it is necessary. My kids do get the fun of shopping and getting some new items. But they also understand that we have a budget that has to be worked with.

I hope that over the years, my kids  understand that you can have a wonderful life and many great experiences on a budget. I don't think it is good for kids to think they have unlimited resources to buy whatever they want whenever they feel like it. Such an attitude can lead to debt and poor financial decisions. How many young adults in the United States are dealing with staggering student loan payments because no one ever talked to them about practicality and working within a certain budget?

How do you get ready for school? Do you have certain rituals and practices?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Scrapbook Saturday: The First Four Years

In the book, The First Four Years, novelist Laura Ingalls Wilder recounts the first four years of her marriage to Almonzo Wilder, a farmer and homesteader. Together, they try to make a go of it homesteading in South Dakota. Those years are harrowing as they face debt, a fire that destroys their home, serious illness that permanently disables Almonzo, the birth of two children, and the death of one as an infant, Throughout the book, it obvious how much the couple love another and how they face their challenges with courage and hope.

The first four years of marriage are often a proving ground for any couple and frequently determine the future for a marriage. My husband and I are halfway upon our 19th wedding anniversary. Our eldest child is two years from graduating high school and our youngest is leaving her babyhood behind. As I face all these transitions, I find myself pondering what the past 19 years have meant and what things our future holds. For some reason, I haven't felt a desire to scrapbook the present photos I have taken. Instead my heart keeps going back to those early years. Today, I pulled out photos from every little cranny and compiled photos from the first four years of my marriage--from 1998-2002.  I want to tell our stories from that period in terms of the ways that we changed and grew, since that period was like an introduction to the rest of our lives. I also want to use Stacy Julian's categories to tell stories so it isn't entirely chronological. I want to find meaningful connections that go behind describing events.



As I pondered how much I learned during that period and the changes my husband and I made, I couldn't help by think of Wilder's book about the first years of her marriage. It really was an introductory period where we lived in Utah and started our family. I feel all kinds of excitement to go over these pictures and record stories and thoughts about those years. I decided to first concentrate on our engagement and wedding and tell our love story.



Here are some stories I want to tell:

  • Our dating story
  • The location of our wedding and we chose it
  • Brent's proposal
  • Our lives before we got married
  • Our honeymoon
  • The wedding day
  • My dress 
  • Friends who attended
  • Why we chose our wedding date
  • Joining our two families together
  • Things that attracted me to Brent
  • How we fell in love
I'm so excited to work on this album!

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Throwback Thursday: Transcending Tragedy--A Tribute to My Great-Grandmother, Hattie Connolly Christler

This post was originally posted on my Israel/Swedish blog on September 17, 2010. While looking through my archives today, I found this. I needed the reminder that the post gave me. Its one of my favorite pieces I have ever written about my family.
My great-grandmother was an extraordinary women. Until a few weeks ago, I didn’t know anything about her beyond her name and few minor details.
I had the privilege to meet with her daughter, my great-aunt, and learned more about this woman who was a mystery to me.
Before Hattie, my great-grandmother, was 21, she had been married, divorced, lost a toddler to pneumonia, and had given another son up for adoption because she couldn’t feed herself, let alone a small boy. I could surely write page after page about the tragedies of these events. And they were tragedies of pain more than what most of us could think we could bear. I don’t want to dwell on the tragedies of Hattie’s life, but rather focus on the way she transcended tragedy to live a full life complete with happiness and renewal.
Hattie had courage. When she divorced her first husband because of his heavy drinking and carousing, she did so without support from her family. To divorce in the early 1900’s was tantamount to becoming a complete social outcast. It was expensive and difficult to do. But Hattie believed that the right thing to do for herself and for her children was to divorce a man who was not a good husband. It takes courage to go against the cultural rules of one’s society and even more difficult to defy one’s family and face the attendant consequences.
Hattie had strength to made decisions that were difficult and painful. I suppose this also suggests a certain level of pragmatism. When she gave up her son for adoption, I know it wrenched at her heart and hurt for decades after, but she did what she could to take care of her son and give him a stable home.
Hattie had hope. She was only 21 when she married my great-grandfather. He had lost his first wife to an accident and was left with 5 small children. Hattie had hope and trust that she could love again and find a man that was worthy of loving. Hattie and Lockwood were married for over 50 years. I think it requires hope to love again after such a disastrous first marriage.
Hattie was cheerful and patient. Hattie suffered from a stroke 20 years before her death. Her speech never recovered and she was not able to  utter a word for 20 years. Yet, she was patient with others, cheerful and happy. She never became surly, angry or discouraged with her inability to verbally communicate.  
Hattie went on to have three more children, two boys and one girl. One of the boys was my grandfather. She eventually repaired the broken relationship with her parents. She was a stalwart wife and mother, standing by her husband and children through the years. My great-aunt, Hattie’s daughter, remembers her as being very cheerful–especially through the ordeal of having a stroke.
Over the years, Hattie faced the ordinary gamut of human challenges. Deaths, accidents, war, uncertainty, family discord, poverty, etc. Yet she faced her challenges with grace and dignity. While it would be easy to frame her life within the tragedies that she dealt with, I think it would be far more productive and uplifting to view her in the framework of transcendance and as a model of courage. I am grateful to claim this woman as my great-grandmother.

Do you have an ancestor whose story (both good and bad) inspires and encourages you? 

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Monday, July 18, 2016

Mothering Monday: Getting to Know Cousins

My children live hundreds, and thousands, of miles away from their cousins. It is one aspect of our lives that I wish I could change. When we are able to connect with family, I really appreciate how my kids get to interact and play with their cousins. This trip to Wyoming was very special because they were able to spend time with the majority of their cousins. Here are just a few of those special moments.

 Hunter and Jonathan

Hallie and Brooke

 Walter and Que

 Tiffany, Winter, Trey, Duffy, Jonathan

 Spencer and Jack

 Jessica and Que

 Seth, Toby, Josef, Jarrett, Jonathan, Jessica, Christopher

 Brooke, Hallie, Seth, Trisha, Trey, Duffy, Christopher, Tanner, Spencer

 Aunt Lori, Winter, Brooke

 Winter and Jarrett

 Winter and Scott

 Shealynn and Winter

 Trent, Seth, Isaac, Jonathan, Walter, Jarrett, Blake, Josef, Scott

 Morgan, Walter, Winter, Brooke, Jonathan

 Aunt Lori, Winter, and Jack

 Tiffany and Morgan

Greyson

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Friday, July 15, 2016

Friday Favorites: Cotton Candy

Cotton candy might just be the Devil's own candy. It is sticky and gross but little kids just can't get enough of it, especially my little sugar monster, Winter. My sister bought Winter some cotton candy at the rodeo, and she just went to town on it, so much that my sister couldn't stop giving her candy and then taking pictures of her.










© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Monday, June 20, 2016

Mothering Monday: To My 14-year Old Son

Dear son,

This is your last year of middle school and you are about to go into high school. Yes, high school and it is kind of freaking me out. This year has been a calm one for me and you because I had stepped back and just let you direct your schooling. It was a big risk to take because there was a huge possibility you would fail. But somehow you managed to find a balance that works for you. There are many ways in which I think you could much better--such as getting straight As, but you are the one driving your success, not me. And compared to where you have been, you have made huge progress.


  • You are still gregarious and interesting. You laugh a lot and have a joy bubble. Your joy bubble may not be as big as it once was as a preschooler, but it is still there.



  • Our relationship is so much better and we are a lot happier when we spend time together.


  •  You love working on your computer. You still crave knowledge about interesting subjects. When it is something you like, you really do put time into it.You love animals and are intensely curious how they work.



  •  You cook more and do quite a bit in the kitchen. It still takes time for you to finish chores, but you are getting so much better.

  • You did wrestling and track and field. I am proud of you for the effort you put into training and competing. I also loved that at your meets, you always took time to talk to me and your siblings. I love that about you. 





  • You have the most EPIC hair of any our family. It is my hair, which we both inherited from your great-grandpa Christler. You like it long so it keeps your head warm. You are still always cold. Even in the summer you will wear a ratty yellow hoodie. 



  • In many ways, you are still very childlike and have a pure, unfettered joy I love to watch.



  •  Even though you are musical, getting you to practice is akin to pulling teeth, painful and hard. So this year you did art. I love the art you are creating. It is usually centered on nature, which you love. Also, you created a cool computer program for an art piece about slot machines. I found you at your desk a couple days later studying the probabilities of the different combinations. On your own, you came up with some formulas and data. 









I think this year was a great one for you. I'm so excited for you next year and hope that it proves to be an even better year.

Love,

Mom

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Wondering Wednesday: Married Love

New, romantic love is idealized on TV, in movies and literature, and in popular culture. All too often, married love or mature love is seen as something kind of boring, which seems pretty shortsighted. I get it, the rush of hormones, butterflies and excitement when falling into love is intoxicating and can't be beat.

My husband and I have been married for 18 years and I still can't stop myself thinking about him constantly during the day. I feel so deeply in love and wonderfully happy. The feelings I have now have a depth and strength that I didn't experience or understand when we first fell in love.



For me, married love looks and feels like this:
  • My husband washes the dishes and mops the floor because he knows how I hate a yucky floor, even though he is tired and would like to sleep.
  • Curling up together in our bed after a long day outdoors with our kids and listening to the crickets chirp.
  • Crying tears of joy as we experience the birth of each of our children.
  • Listening to one another's complaints as we struggle with jobs we like or challenges that are hard.
  • Being a cheerleader to one another when a growth opportunity comes along.
  • Being so mad at each other you can hardly see straight, but still loving them and wanting to work it out.
  • Commiserating over the challenges of parenting.
  • Laughing over private jokes and silly stories.
  • Watching my husband sit with our daughter on our front porch eating ice cream after pushing her in the swing for a long time.
  • Sneaking in passionate kisses when the kids aren't looking-and even sometimes when they are.
  • Grieving together when tragedy strikes.
  • Holding each other tight and pressing forward when faced with difficult challenges.
  • Sending funny texts to one another during the day and saying how much we love and miss one another.
  • Meeting each other for lunch at his office. 
  • Making his favorite meal for his birthday dinner.

  •  Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness when you have wronged one another.
  • Extending forgiveness and grace to one another.
  • Feeling like you have been together forever and yet it was just yesterday when you fell in love.
  • Staying up late at night just to talk to each other. 
  • Disagreeing about politics but still listening to each other anyway.
  • Going away for a much needed night away and just enjoying one another's company.
  • Missing each other when we are apart and calling at crazy hours just to hear their voice.
  • Relying on one another completely. 
  • Really and truly being friends. 

I could go on forever but I'll stop here. Have you experienced this deepening and strengthening of love? If so, what does it look and feel like to you?


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED