Scrapbook Saturday: Creative Energy

This post is part of my series about overcoming creativity killers. You can read part 1, part 2,  and part 3 before checking out this post. Or not. 

I apologize that this post doesn't have any pictures but this topic didn't exactly inspire pictures for me!

Twelve years ago, I was diagnosed with lupus. Ever since then I have been keenly aware of what parts of life, decision-making, child-raising, outdoor activities, etc. generate or drain energy. I also learned that to create, you must have energy. It is very hard to create out of a place of exhaustion. While creating requires energy, it also produces energy. Have you ever experienced a crafter's high? I have. It's that zing you feel when you have created a page that you love. It gives you a boost of energy and happiness.

Because I prioritize creating and consider it a form of self-care, I carefully assess my schedule and energy to determine the best time for creating. I can't craft in the evening anymore because I'm much too tired to make pages I'm happy with. Five of my six children are at school during the day. My baby/toddler takes a nap in the afternoon. In the mornings, we work on cleaning and any errands I have. Then I put her down to bed. Her naptime is my work time. I scrapbook, blog, or do other creative activities. Because that time is short, I have learned to work quickly and efficiently.

When she wakes up, I am done. I usually have a page completed and feel a welcome burst of energy to get through the rest of the day.

I usually don't scrap on Saturdays because that is our family day when we do projects like work on our garden, fix the deck, or household repairs. My husband likes me to be with him so we work together.

Things for you to consider:

1) Why should you make time to scrapbook? Why is it important to you? I think knowing the answer why will help you give yourself to put that time in your schedule.

2) When is your energy highest? What could you move around in your schedule to make time for creating when you are your peak?

3) What things are you wasting your time with that you could put to better use crafting? My time-suck is Facebook. I'm working hard to limit that so I make time for things that really matter to me.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Friday Favorites: Learning from a Scrapbooker

Scrap Gals hosts a delightfully funny, educational, and interesting podcast about scrapbooking. A few weeks ago, they shared an episode called Scrapping the Pain Away with guest Andrea Bethke. Andrea suffers from an extremely painful chronic condition where she is constant pain from her nerve endings. This was an incredibly powerful show. I appreciate Andrea Bethke's drive to make her life meaningful as she scraps and finds a way to live through the pain.

I appreciated Tracie Claiborne's admonition that we aren't our pain or our condition. Truer words have never been spoken. I was diagnosed with lupus 12 years ago and I had to take this to heart. I do speak about my disease to help others learn, but it isn't my identity. It affects my life, but it doesn't run or rule my life.

I appreciated the strong message to find gratitude, happiness, and joy when experiencing extreme suffering. I think this is a life lesson every person in the world will have to learn. Many of us do not learn it but if you get that secret, you are a remarkable person.

I also appreciate the analysis and discussion of scrapbooking as a powerful tool to express gratitude, process pain and challenges, and transcending difficulty and tragedy.

Please listen to this episode. Even if you have no interest in scrapbooking, this has some profound life lessons everyone needs to hear. 

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

World Lupus Day 2016

Today is World Lupus Day-- a day intended to raise awareness about this complicated and difficult disease.

I have had lupus for 12 years and have written about it quite often on this blog here, here, here, and here. I probably sound like a broken record to many people, but this is my reality.

Lupus affects many different aspects of my life. I share my story and life to help people understand what it means to live with a chronic illness. Lupus Research is finally on the rise after years of being ignored by scientists to study more popular or pressing diseases. Only recently, after a 50 year hiatus, have new drugs been developed to treat lupus. I take an anti-malarial medication which moderates my immune system.

Here are a few facts about lupus:

• Lupus is an auto-immune disease where the immune system attacks healthy tissue in the body. 
• At least 1.5 million Americans have lupus.
• Women of color are two to three times more likely to develop lupus than Caucasian women. 
• There is no one diagnostic test for lupus. Doctor diagnose lupus based on eleven criteria. Four of the diagnostic criteria must be met to diagnose a person with lupus. 
• Lupus often mimics or imitates other diseases so it is very hard to diagnose. 

But what does this mean for a normal woman, trying to live an ordinary life? Here are a few ways that lupus affects my daily life.

• Lupus causes me to constantly readjust and adapt my life and schedule. Lack of sleep is a big trigger, so if don't get a good night's rest, I have to take a nap or sleep in to remain healthy.
• I must constantly assess my health and adapt to what is needed.
• Stress can trigger flares, so I must be careful to manage and cope with stress.
• I see a specialist every three months (or more often if I am really sick) and get several vials of blood drawn every three months.
• I take medication every single day and will for the rest of my day.
• Pregnancy when you have lupus becomes really complicated. I had relatively easy pregnancies, but I had to see an OB/GYN and a perinatologist. I had to have ultrasounds on a monthly basis. 
• I worry about insurance issues. I have to have good insurance because my costs would go through the roof. 
• I work really, really hard to be healthy. I think about it a lot. The reason I am so healthy is due to good medical care and extreme vigilance about my health. I'm also extremely lucky that my lupus is rather mild. 
• There have been times when I have had to seriously curtail my kids' activities because I didn't have the energy or strength to deal with their complicated schedules. 
• I have to be very careful about the sun. I wear sunscreen all the time. If I go outside to garden, I completely cover.
• I have to adapt tools I use in the kitchen. I rarely make homemade mashed potatoes anymore because peeling potatoes is too painful. I use an electric can opener because it hurts my wrist to use a manual can opener. 

I don't share this post to beg for sympathy. I have a wonderful life with many opportunities and blessings.  I just want people to be aware of this disease. 

Wondering Wednesday: Living with Lupus

Twelve years ago, I sat on my bed in my flat in Sweden as the doctor broke the news to me over the phone that I had lupus. I was relieved and scared at the news. After months of illness with weird symptoms, I finally had answers and there were treatments that I could try. There is still so much we don't know about lupus and my future felt so uncertain. We ended that conversation that day with many unanswered questions.

Today I saw my rheumatologist where we had an extremely optimistic and upbeat conversation. My blood levels look great. I still test positive for the ANA test but I am pretty much normal in almost every other respect. It feels really good to be in that place. I'm rejoicing in my good health for today and hopeful for my future.

Over the years I have grappled with questions about resiliency, strength, and transcending tragedy. I have found so many examples close to home that have inspired me to seek for those gifts of character.

My great-grandmother Hattie was a resilient woman who transcended personal tragedies. When I learned of her story, I felt that I had to honor the heritage she gave me by facing up to the health challenges I faced. Hattie's story is one of great challenges met with tremendous courage and grace. I cannot shirk my challenges, because I know that I have strength and courage from her.

My mother taught me how to push forward without complaint. She has faced many health challenges throughout her life, but despite that, she is the hardest working person I know. She is cheerful and patient with others, something that I am still working to master.

When I am having a tough day either mentally or emotionally, I remember the things my mother and great-grandmother have taught me. I have their strength, courage, and tenacity in my genes.

Who has inspired you when facing a tough challenge?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Wondering Wednesday: Pain

I awoke this morning feeling a lot of pain, pain in my finger joints specifically, and a generalized achiness in my body. It's actually very minor compared to the flares of lupus pain that have swept through my body in the past leaving me weak and fragile.  Still it is a reminder that I live with a chronic illness that can flare up at any time.

On days like this, I engage in an intense inner debate. Do I take ibuprofen to reduce the inflammation and dull the pain a bit? Do I take it easy today? One part of me wants to lay in my bed and cry a bit. The other part of me urges to just suck it up and get on with life.

When I was really sick and tired, I did have to suck it up and get on with life because I literally would never have gotten out of bed. At that point, I didn't feel any better for laying in bed than I did getting up and moving around. I don't feel that way anymore because I have more good days than bad days. I don't even need to trick myself out of getting back in bed anymore.

In some ways, I am taking it easy. I had the boys prepare dinner with my verbal instructions. I can't handle a knife today in any way. I will probably do a soothing yoga routine instead of a heartier cardiac workout. Instead of cleaning with the kids, I directed them from a soft spot on the couch. I might even lay down on the couch and read for a bit. I guess that's the middle ground right there.

I think my hardest challenge when dealing with this type of pain is my emotional reaction to it. I feel cranky and irritable. My muscles clench and my stomach feels unsettled. I have a hard tempering my reactions to the normal ebbs and flows of family life. When this happens, I try to be honest with my kids by explaining my pain and then telling them I am trying to do my best to decent but I am having a hard time.

So there you go. I am unable to transcend my human body currently coping with pain. I just want it to go away.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Travel Tuesday: The Challenges of Being a Third-Culture Kid

A third-culture kid (or TCK) is a child who has spent a significant portion of their childhood living outside his or her passport country. My three oldest children definitely qualify as TCKs. I did not learn about TCKs until we lived in Riyadh. Learning about this concept helped me tremendously. But I wish I had known about it while we lived in Sweden.

Today I came across some school papers from 2008-2009 when my oldest son was in 3rd grade. As I looked through the pages, I realized that he was experiencing classic symptoms of being a TCK-something none of the adults involved recognized and consequently were not able to help him adequately.

At the beginning of the 2008-2009 school year, we were still in the middle of huge transitions. We had only been living in the United States for 9 months-after spending 5 1/2 years in Sweden. My children hadn't eaten Kraft mac and cheese, sugar cereal, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They hadn't even seen television commercials for several years. They had grown up in a dual-language environment that was culturally diverse.

Moving to New York was a profound shock for all of us. We went from an apartment to living in a house. We drove everywhere in New York instead of biking or taking public transportation. The kids movements and freedom became greatly restricted. In Sweden, they had been allowed to visit friends and go places without an adult hovering around them. In New York, the kids always had to have an adult with them when outside. The cost of living was also a shock. Even though my husband received a much bigger salary, we were very unprepared for the high cost of rent, utilities, and general living expenses. Our world shrunk because along with the higher cost of living, free activities were pretty sparse in the area.

Additionally, as I tried to reconstruct our lives, finding all the doctors I needed to manage my health conditions was difficult. I neglected finding an endocrinologist and so my thyroid health spiraled downward causing severe health challenges. I would eventually enter a pretty terrible lupus flare and then become pregnant. 2009 was a intense difficult year filled with health challenges, school challenges, culture shock, and a horrible battle with our landlord.

This is just the outside stuff. My son had left all his friends the year before, all that he knew and was familiar to him. At the beginning of 2008, he went to two different second grades--one in Wyoming and then the one in New York. We hobbled along at the second school. But third grade proved to be exceptionally difficult for him.

In coping with his stress he started to chew non-food objects like pens and papers. This bothered the teacher and principal so much that he was referred to the psychologist. I received many complaints about my boy that year as he struggled along, trying to find his footing, friends, and stability. Despite my efforts to keep things stable at home, my health had spiraled out of control. Even though we tried not burden our kids with what was happening, the truth is that we were all impacted by what was happening.

I wish that I had known the challenges that TCKs face as they struggle to adapt to new environments. I wish I had been able to educate the school staff about what we were facing as a family in adjusting to being back in the United States. I wish that the teacher would have seen how hard we were trying as a family and how we just didn't have the resources at that time to do better. I wish someone would have loved my little boy at that school and understood him and his needs better.

As I think about that time and how my children were affected by circumstances beyond their control, I am grateful for their resilience. I'm grateful for what we've since learned. My boy (and really all the kids) adjusted and adapted. They are bright, kind, and interesting boys. I know more now and have the resources, tools, and skills to better help my kids adjust.

The paradox of life is that we all exist in a state of duality. Most of our experiences couple the bad with the good. Being a TCK comes with some remarkable gifts and experiences but it is coupled with loss, pain, and suffering. Most of the time I focus on all the great things we've experienced but sometimes, the hard stuff rears its ugly head and I have to deal with it.

What are some of the dualities of life you have noticed?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

"Better Than Before": summarizing and learning from the book: Pt. 1

I'm a big fan of Gretchen Rubin. I've read most of her books and have utilized them to create happiness in my life. Lately, I've noticed that I have a deep desire to great habits--not so much goals, although I do enjoy making and keeping goals. But really, deep down, I want to make habits that last a lifetime and lead to big changes over my lifetime. I bought the book sometime ago, but had a hard time reading it. I have learned that with certain types of info, I need to listen first and then read later. I almost all the way through the audio version and have had a lot of thoughts and realizations. I am now re-reading the book and working my way through the exercises.  (note, this series is not intended to ever replace the book--it is just a way for me to work through it so I can implement habits in my life. I recommend if you are serious about changing your habits, you should buy the book.)

In the note to the reader in the book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, the author, Gretchen Rubin states, "Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life...If we change our habits, we change our lives...But we each must cultivate the habits that work for us."

This really struck me because it is absolutely true. I have observed that my children do better when we have routine and schedules. We are healthier, happier, and nicer to one another when we have good habits.

Rubin suggests that you identify habits you would like to develop before you start with the book, so here is my list:

1) Exercise daily so I have energy and strength to get through my days. Also, I want to build muscle mass as I head into my 40's so that the latter half of my life is productive. This habit will also help me continue to sustain good health with my lupus.

2) Improve eating habits--especially reducing or eliminating consumption of sugar. This will also help me as I deal with lupus.

3) Implement a daily scripture study habit so that I will develop spiritual strength, great fortitude and faith, and be more in tune with the Spirit. I am also anxious to learn and grow in my gospel knowledge.

4) Develop a cleaning routine in my house that is sustainable so I don't spend all my time cleaning. I want to have a clean, orderly home. I am happier and function better when my home is orderly and clean. It doesn't have to be spotless, but functional.

5) Create daily. I find great joy in being creative in writing, music, and scrapbooking. It gives me a lift and I am a nicer person to be around. I often don't take the time I need to be creative. Or I am too tired to be creative.

6) Read daily from the classics. There are so many books I have wanted to read, but I often read fluff. I want to be inspired by powerful works that push me to think.


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED