90s Things

 Part of reorganizing my craft space meant going through boxes of pictures. Most of my stored pictures came from film cameras. 

Taking good photographs required a lot more skill back then. And most of us lacked skill. We also printed duplicates of our photos, leaving us with a lot of bad photos. I sorted through a lot of mediocre pictures from the 90s and enjoyed our fun hairstyles, seeing old friends, and remembering my high school and teen years. 

Things I am grateful for today:

1. Time, space, and energy to sort through old photos. 

2. Memories!

3. Technology that enabled capturing those memories. 

4. A very good night's rest.

5. A yummy dinner at Olive Garden. We rarely go so this was very much a treat. 

Love, Tiffany

Welcome 2026

Yes, I know people do not read blogs very often anymore. But I need to write and blogging was something I enjoyed in the past. 

I want this year to be a year where I do MORE of the things I enjoy. I also want to stop doing things that are stupid. With that in mind, here are some of my "resolutions."

Stop buying fake tanning lotion and spend more time at the beach. Tanning lotion and I are not friends, but neither am I going to the beach to tan. The beach and ocean are wonderful and I want more of that in my life. 

Stop buying supplements from advertisements and start using the ones I have already. Remember, Tiffany, you have a problem swallowing pills-be kinder to yourself. 

Stop buying books and start reading the digital and physical books you already have. 

Stop scrolling and spend more time crafting. 

I want to make MORE Christmas ornaments. I want to play the piano and sing MORE. I want to dance and hike MORE. I want to write and teach MORE. I want to travel MORE. I want to spend MORE time with my grandbabies and kids. I want to garden MORE. I want to have MORE fun and adventures in my life. 

And now, things I am grateful for on January 1, 2026

1. I am grateful for everyone in the house who helped me declutter and organize today. 

2. I am grateful that my husband fixed our dishwasher today.

3. I am grateful I got to play Catan with my family; I almost won. 

4. I am grateful for new furniture that provide more space and functionality.

5. I am grateful I got to sleep until 10 a.m. What luxury!!

Happy New Year! 

Love, Tiffany

About Me and Blog Portfolio

Hello, my name is Tiffany Wacaser. I have been married for 24 years to my husband, Brent Wacaser, who is a research scientist. We are the parents of six children. Our oldest son is married and he and his wife are the parents of two daughters. I am passionate about genealogy, history, and writing. 

From 2002-2007, my husband and I lived in Sweden and Israel with our four children. My husband worked on his PhD in Physics at Lund University. In 2008, we returned to the United States when my husband accepted a position in New York. In 2012, our family of seven moved to Saudi Arabia for eighteen months. We returned to New York in 2013 and our sixth child was born in 2014. 

In 2017, I started a genealogy program at Boston University. In 2019, I started my Master's program in History at Arizona State University. I will graduate in May 2022.

I have been a blog and content creator since 2007. Please see the links and descriptions for more information.

A Stranger Here

From 2007 to 2011, I documented my life as an ex-pat mother of four children, living in Israel,  Sweden, and New York. 

In a Maze of Beige

From 2012 to 2014, I documented my experiences as an ex-pat mother of five in Saudi Arabia. I shared cultural experiences and historical information. 

The Life and Times of Wyoming Pioneer Couple, William Lane Fenex and Sabra Johnson

This genealogy blog documents the lives of William Lane Fenex and Sabra Johnson. Includes a thorough overview of their lives, historical context, and relevant photographs and sources. 

These Fragments

This blog is a place for the minutiae of my life from essays about current events, a family journal, and topics that spark my interest.

Tiffany's No Frills Cooking Blog

I use this blog to share my favorite recipes and food creations.

Thoughts on Strengthening Marriage

 On Monday, my husband and I celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary! 

We have had many experiences including:

• Becoming the parents of six children
• Living in three different foreign countries.
• Supporting each other through multiple university degrees, including a PhD for Brent.
• Buying a house.
• Surviving a serious house fire.
• Rebuilding a house which was completely gutted. (Talk about stressful)
• Chronic illnesses—lupus & Hashimotos
• A miscarriage in the early second trimester.
• My husband worked in Saudi Arabia for a year before we moved there and was gone for large chunks of times.
• Car troubles
• Financial troubles
• Landlords and getting threatened by a landlord
• Mental illness in children
• My own depression
• Health episodes that required hospitalization
• Kids breaking bones, needing stitches, getting concussions
• Living really far from family and support systems
• Multiple moves 
• Death of loved ones
• Pets
• And on and on

I am not an expert on other people’s marriages and I don’t think every marriage can or should be saved. But I do know what has been a blessing in my own marriage. To that end, here are a few things I believe about strengthening marriage.

I think marriages live and die on the small, everyday things instead of the big romantic gestures or dramatic fights. 

Picture a leaky bucket that needs to be constantly filled. Its easier to fill it constantly instead of filling it one go. 

Here are some simple ways to show love:

1. Warm hellos and goodbyes
2. Touches and kisses as you pass by each other
3. Expressions of gratitude for the things each person does during the day
4. Simple texts throughout the day 
5. Spending time at the end of the day together. Talk about the day.
6. Sharing jokes. I like sending memes.
7. Look for ways to lighten your spouse’s load
8. Genuine compliments
9. Focusing on positive things about your spouse. When I focus on why I love my husband, my love for him grows. When I dwell on the negative, my love diminishes. On my own, I often list the things I like about my husband. I also tell him. But I try to keep my inner dialogue on the positive. 
10. Ignore the negative (This one is tricky, because you should NOT ignore or excuse bad behavior or abuse. But, most of us do stupid things that are trivial. Ignoring those things is ok.)
11. Share a tv show or book. 
12. Surprise your spouse with a little treat like their favorite drink, snack, candy, etc.
13. Spend quality time with your spouse daily. Make sure you get time together. If you are apart because of work trips, make sure to reconnect daily through conversations.
14. Look for ways to serve your spouse. If they have a hard time getting up, how can you make their morning easier? Bring home dinner, especially on a day when the stay at home parent has had a hard day. Don’t ignore the dishes. Start the laundry. Help kids pick up the toys.
15. Show support to your spouse at work. Can they share their struggles and challenges with you? Make sure you are a safe person to express their frustrations. Cheer their successes. 
16. Be a cheerleader to your spouse! You should be their #1 fan. Tell them you are proud of them.
17. Be a safe place to express emotions and feelings. Listen and offer love and comfort. 
18. Back scratches, foot massages, playing with hair

What are some tips for strengthening marriage through small everyday things? 

The Trouble With How We Teach and Learn History (at least in the United States)

 As a history grad student, I think a lot about how we teach and learn history. This is a hot topic in my classes. Frankly, I get a little heated when I witness the academic hand-wringing that takes place, even as much of what academics do is totally inaccessible to most people. 

History is generally taught in grade school as factual and somewhat one-sided, or at least it was when I was a student. Public historical debates often focus on the true cause of a historical event. In the past, popular historical figures had their histories whitewashed. For example, it was hidden and denied for almost a century that Thomas Jefferson had a long-standing sexual relationship with his slave, Sally Hemmings. Today, a lot of popular history focuses on the darkest aspects of people and events. For example, now people want to focus primarily on that aspect of Thomas Jefferson's character and pay little attention to his role as a politician and writer. Ironically, both are true facets of Thomas Jefferson's history. He was a brilliant writer, politician, and had a sexual relationship with Sally Hemmings which resulted in several children, that were only freed after Jefferson's death. Another example would be the long-standing debate about the cause of the Civil War. Was it a war over slavery or state's rights? After extensive historical reading, I feel confident in saying that the Civil War was about slavery, AND state's rights, AND secession. It is absurd to say or even believe that every soldier who fought in the war fought because of slavery. Each soldier had their own individual motivation to fight in that war and many were forced to fight. 

The gift that my master's program has given me is that history is complex and multi-faceted. It has encouraged me to look at events and people from different perspectives. It has taught me the value of using AND when I look at historical topics. For example, I did a deep dive last year about an event that occurred in Missouri and Arkansas during the Civil War involving an ancestor of mine. As I dug deeper into the event, I saw multiple sides to the conflict and still have many unanswered questions. I think this is how we need to approach historical topics. We need to embrace the AND, look at multiple perspectives, and allow for different interpretations. We need to look at the evidence. Look at journals, letters, and books for the evidence. There are so many sources available now for free online. I think we should apply this in the classroom in age-appropriate ways. A topic that would be interesting to dive into for high school students was the Columbian exchange and the debates about Christopher Columbus. There are so many facets to this history that can be addressed. Why were European countries expanding their empires? What were they hoping to gain? How did they treat the indigenous peoples they encountered? How did indigenous peoples respond to colonization? The Columbian exchange changed how Europeans ate, spread new diseases, and also changed global trade. The follow-up to all these discussions would be to examine the holiday of Columbus Day, which was originally created to better integrate Italian Americans and alleviate the racism and violence they were experiencing. That would lead to discussions about immigration and racial construction at the turn of the century. 

My biggest gripe with Academic history at the grad school level (I cannot speak for it on the undergrad level because I was an English major) is that academic history is mostly inaccessible to most people. First, academics write in nearly incomprehensible ways. They refer to complicated philosophical theories such as Michel Foucault (the worst and grossest philosopher on the planet) that are torturous to understand. The language is so complex that their point is often obscured. Second, the books they write are intended for an academic audience so regular people don't read them. Most libraries don't buy them and most people don't have thousands of dollars a year to keep on top of the latest historical books. Third, academic historical journals are too expensive for most people. In other words, people don't learn about academic historic debates, and why they matter, because the writing is difficult to read and the literature is generally unaffordable for most people. As my time as a grad student comes to an end, I am mourning my loss of access to academic journals and books. I can't afford a journal subscription or the books. For all that academics try to be nuanced and multi-faceted, their goal fails because it never reaches a broad audience. Academic history remains the purview of the privileged few. 

In conclusion, I wish people would read more before they share their opinions about historical events. I wish they would do more research. And I wish that we would embrace more nuance in our historical debates. Choose the AND.

My Lupus Pregnancy Miracles

 Today as my family celebrated the birthday of my youngest daughter, I couldn't help but reflect on the miracle that my youngest three children are. I was diagnosed with lupus in 2005, months after my third son was born. I lost a significant amount of weight, struggled with extreme pain and fatigue, lived with swollen joints, lost a lot of hair, and felt miserable. When I met with the rheumatologist in Sweden for the first time, I was warned that I should not have more children. At the time, I was extremely grateful for the three children I had. I concentrated on improving my health and enjoying my three young boys.

The next two years, my health improved with good medical care, medication, good food, and rest. After consultation with my doctor, my husband and I planned for another baby. Parts of this pregnancy went quite smoothly. I felt healthy and was able to remain active. Unfortunately, there were challenges with the baby's growth. I was hospitalized for a few days in my last trimester because her growth was so slow. The hospitalization was weird because the doctors never examined me. I did not have further tests. I was just required to stay in my bed. I delivered my daughter without complications, although she was a pound smaller than the rest of her siblings. When the nurse delivered the placenta, we discovered that it was smaller than normal and that it looked quite old. 

My fifth pregnancy was really a strange experience for most of it. We had returned to the United States, but I struggled with lupus flares and regulating my thyroid. I developed a lump in my neck the size of a golf ball and spent several weeks going to specialists to determine if I had cancer and what was happening with my body. I had the most extreme fatigue of my life. I went to a different doctor every day and would lay on the examination table half asleep while I waited for the doctor to come and visit me. Even though I was experiencing regular periods, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was totally surprised when it was positive. After confirming with a doctor, I found an ob/gyn to do an ultrasound. The day of my ultrasound happened to be my birthday. I was crying because I thought for sure my baby was not alive, not with all the bleeding I had. My mom called to wish me a happy birthday and I broke down and told her the whole story. At the doctor's office later that day, my husband and I were totally shocked to hear a strong heartbeat. Even though I hemorrhaged, my pregnancy was still viable. Aside from the bleeding, I had a normal pregnancy and delivery.

My husband and I decided to try for one more baby, but I suffered an early second-trimester miscarriage. I had an ultrasound scheduled while my husband was in Saudi Arabia on a work trip. When the technician was not able to find a heartbeat, I was in shock. I went home very anxious. Because of the time difference, it was tricky getting ahold of my husband through skype. When I finally talked to him, I asked him to come home as soon as possible. While he worked on arranging flights, I tried to figure things out on my end. He came home a few hours before my contractions began. I'm so glad he got home in time because it was a very difficult process to deliver the fetus. I lost a lot of blood and was very weak. I ended up having a D&C and received two blood transfusions.

After my miscarriage, my husband and I waited. He spent the next year traveling back and forth to Saudi Arabia. We moved to Saudi Arabia a  year later. Because of my lupus and his travels, we waited on having a baby. I was not able to see a rheumatologist or endocrinologist for my lupus and thyroid issues in Saudi Arabia. Because my pregnancies require special care we felt that it was not wise to have a baby in Saudi Arabia. I got pregnant the last month in Saudi Arabia and hemorrhaged again. An ultrasound showed a steady heartbeat. I rested as much as possible. Once we returned to the United States, I started seeing my doctor and specialists. Aside from the bleeding, I had a rather uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery.

 I feel so lucky that I was able to have three more children! They bring such joy to my life. 

Trying to Find Some Middle Ground with Covid-19

 We are entering our third year of the Covid-19 pandemic, which has significantly disrupted the world, politics, economies, supply chains, and people's lives. 

In the United States, Covid-19 is particularly divisive. Conservatives are less likely to believe in the severity and seriousness of the virus. They are less likely to wear masks or get vaccinated. They advocate for keeping schools open. Conservatives are against mask and vaccine mandates. On the other hand, liberals are incredibly worried about the severity of Covid-19. They are more likely to be vaccinated and wear masks. They advocate for mask and vaccine mandates and would like schools to go remote. 

Where do I fall in this debate? Religiously and ideologically, I am a conversative. I believe that Covid is a serious virus, especially deadly to the elderly and people with co-morbidities such as obesity. I believe that the majority of people who get Covid will survive it. I am grateful for the vaccine and have chosen to vaccinate myself and my family, including my children. I want schools to remain open. I wear a mask in public spaces and am okay with my children wearing masks at school. I do not think we should have vaccine or mask mandates. In fact, I think if we stopped mandating both of those things, a lot of the polarization would die down. I think that people should consult with a trusted doctor to consider the risks and benefits of vaccination and non-vaccination. I believe that families should make their own choices about vaccinating. 

The New York Times newsletter on January 25, 2022, analyzed the results of a recent Covid poll.

Here are some quotes from the analysis that I found most interesting. 

"Covid’s starkly different impact on the young and old has been one of the virus’s defining characteristics. It tends to be mild for children and younger adults but is often severe for the elderly. More than three-quarters of all U.S. Covid deaths have occurred among people 65 and older."

My takeaway: Covid is more deadly for the elderly than children. Therefore, we actually have more leeway and leverage with keeping schools open. Covid vaccination efforts should concentrate on the most at-risk group first, which has already been done. In New York, the elderly were the first group that was eligible to be vaccinated. 

"For the unvaccinated, however, Covid is worse than any other common virus. It has killed more than 865,000 Americans, the vast majority unvaccinated. In the weeks before vaccines became widely available, Covid was the country’s No. 1 cause of death, above even cancer and heart disease." My takeaway: Getting Covid is more deadly and risky for the unvaccinated than the vaccinated. (This is statistically true.) There will be some exceptions to this, of course. Some vaccinated people will die from Covid. Bottom line: getting vaccinated has enormous benefits. But again, I think everyone should have the right to consider their own health situation and make the decisions that are right for them. My daughter-in-law had an extreme reaction to the vaccine and feels reluctant to get a booster shot. I respect her decision and understand where she is coming from.  People are right to be worried, too. The worst effects have been on Black and Latino children, as well as children in high-poverty schools.  Most Democrats, for example, say they favor moving classes online in response to Omicron, despite widespread evidence that remote school has failed and little evidence that shutting schools leads to fewer Covid cases. Closed schools almost certainly do more damage to children and vaccinated adults than Omicron does.” My takeaway: Because Covid is significant less dangerous for children and the cons of remote schooling are so severe, schools should remain open (of course, staff shortages are a real issue). Liberals should reconsider their stance, especially because Latinos and Black children are more likely to be adversely affected by remote learning and school closures. Closing schools increases inequity for marginalized and vulnerable populations. In summary: Covid is real and is deadly, especially for the elderly and those with special conditions. Most people who get Covid will not die. People should seriously consider getting the vaccine and discuss this question with a trusted doctor. Children are not as at risk for having severe covid complications (Yes, there are exceptions, and parents should be able to exercise their rights to protect their children based on medical history.) We have enough evidence now to say that the benefits of school closures are small compared to the disadvantages of remote schooling. Schools should remain open. I think we need to try and maintain some normality using sensible precautions.  Even though the article doesn't specifically discuss vaccine and mask mandates, I think they do more harm than good.

Quotes taken from David Leonhardt, "Good morning, we walk through the results of the first Morning newsletter poll--on pandemic attitudes," "The Morning" Newsletter Column, The New York Times, January 25, 2022.