Showing posts with label habits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label habits. Show all posts

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Throwback Thursday: Jag Talar Svenska

In the late summer of 2002, our family-which at that point consisted of my husband, myself, and our two little boys, moved to Sweden so my husband could pursue a PhD in Physics at a Swedish University. It's a story for another blog post how and why we moved there.



Sweden has many programs to help immigrants, including a free language program for any immigrant. My husband spoke Swedish fluently-yet another topic for a blog post. I, on the other hand, was not fluent in Swedish.It was not strictly necessary for me to learn Swedish. Swedes begin learning English in grade school. They learn to speak fluently and beautifully, with barely a trace of an accent. If you try to speak to someone in Swedish and fumble, they will immediately and effortlessly switch to English. However, speaking English only leaves you forever an outsider, unable to understand the subtleties and nuances that comprise Swedish culture. After we were settled in, I enrolled in Svenska for invandare. (Swedish for immigrants)



Getting to class was an entire production in and of itself. First, my husband worked long hours at his lab. We had to coordinate our schedules so he would get home in time to watch our boys for me to get myself to class. To make life easier, I would prepare fish sticks or meatballs with french fries and it would be ready when he got home. I would race out the door as soon as he arrived to catch the bus.


Learning to use public transport also became part of my challenge. I had never used a bus or train system. We didn't have a car and I didn't have a bike yet because we couldn't afford it. I always get nervous when trying to find a new place and my anxiety was even worse when trying to navigate in a foreign city with a foreign language. I used the Skanetrafiken website to chart my route and then brought my map along with me. I was so scared I wouldn't find the classroom, but I did manage and found a seat.



The class was made of expats from all over the world. Some were there for jobs while others had moved to Sweden because of a girlfriend or boyfriend and were trying to make a go of it,  I think I was the only one there with children. Two nights a week we met and practiced speaking and learning new words.

I attended class for several months and stumbled along. Learning a language is really hard. It's hard when you are trying to adapt to a new country and new customs. On top of that, I was parenting two toddlers. I was also expecting our third baby. Now that I look back I don't know when I ever found time to study or even understand what I was learning.


Learning to speak a foreign language means that you have to put aside certain thought patterns and practices and get comfortable with being really, really bad at something for a long time. In many ways, you are like the baby fumbling and mumbling with words. Everything sounds like nonsense when you start to speak and you understand maybe every 20 words or so that people speak. It means making mistakes constantly and dealing with the subsequent embarrassment and frustration. Sometimes it means that people aren't very patient with you as you try to speak or they speak very loudly and slowly to you as if you were stupid. The rhythms and cadences of the music don't feel natural or understandable.

We had a summer break, which was perfect because my baby was born in July. I was getting ready to return to school when life took a serious turn for the worst. A month after my baby was born I got sick and was sick for months. Eventually I was diagnosed with lupus and it took several months to regain my health and adjust my life accordingly.

During that time, I did my best to read Swedish, to participate at church, and speak whenever I could. But it wasn't the same as taking a class. It took me a long time to recover from my lupus flair and regain what I had lost.

A couple years later, I resumed my Swedish lessons through Komvux, which is an adult education center. Again, my husband would race home to watch our children and I would go to class. I biked several miles to class because the bus wasn't always convenient.

This time I worked a lot harder. I studied more and was more diligent in class. I really wanted to learn the language to the best of my ability. I wrote papers and gave presentations. My favorite project was doing a paper and presentation about Swedish food and how that reflected their culture, history, and religion. I know more about that than most Swedes do--even though they follow those same customs that are centuries old.


As I practiced and studied, the melodic lilt of Swedish starts to make sense to me. I started to understand the filler words that don't translate well into English. There was real delight when I could put together an understandable sentence. I felt triumphant when I said something in public in Swedish and people didn't automatically switch to English. I will never forget the day that I went to the city center and was able to blend in perfectly without anyone staring at me or asking me where I came from--I was like a local.

In the end, I passed all the classes necessary to advance to university level. I wasn't perfect, but I could carry on a conversation and write quite a bit. My teacher told me that I wrote like I was writing in English and translating it into Swedish--which is totally true.

Learning to speak a foreign language means that you have to put aside certain thought patterns and practices and get comfortable with being really, really bad at something for a long time. In many ways, you are like the baby fumbling and mumbling with words. Everything sounds like nonsense when you start to speak and you understand maybe every 20 words or so that people speak. It means making mistakes constantly and dealing with the subsequent embarrassment and frustration. Sometimes it means that people aren't very patient with you as you try to speak or they speak very loudly and slowly to you as if you were stupid. The rhythms and cadences of the music don't feel natural or understandable.

Then we moved back to the United States. Adapting to life back in the United States was incredibly difficult, much harder than I ever anticipated. It took me a few years to adapt. Then we moved to another country and then back to New York. Over the years, I lost a lot of my Swedish. In my dreams, I would speak Swedish and revisit favorite places.

In January, I decided it was time for me to regain my Swedish. I began using an app called Duolingo. I listen to Swedish podcasts. As I have resumed my Swedish practice, my mind has been flooded with details about Sweden that were far back in my mind--things I hadn't thought of or accessed in years.

Why did I start studying Swedish again? Actually, for many reasons. I worked really hard at learning Swedish in the first place and I don't want to lose it. Our family wants to return to Sweden and live there for a year or two so that our younger children will also have a Swedish experience. I am also going to work on developing an expertise in Swedish history and genealogy when I become a professional genealogist. Brent and I hope to serve a mission there as a couple when we are retired. I also want to rekindle aspects of myself that I developed while living in Sweden.


Have you ever learned a foreign language? If so, how did it go? Did you retain it? Why did you learn a second language?

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Tweaking My Habits

Ever since reading the book, Better Than Before, I have worked hard to implement healthy and sustainable habits into my life. And it really is working. I'm creating more consistently with my scrapbooks and this blog. I'm getting more exercise than before, and I have developed a lovely scripture study routine. I'm studying my Swedish daily and seeing wonderful results from that!

However, I think I need to tweak my routines and habits a bit. I need to talk this out, so bear with me. Originally, I was getting up at 5:30 a.m. to read my scriptures and then exercise. Then I eat with my boys at 6:30 a.m. while I practice my Swedish quickly. By 7 a.m., I am done with those three things and feel ready to tackle the day.

Here's the hiccup.  My youngest daughter is having a really hard time at night right now. She sobs and cries for me. It can go on all night so I have started to bring her into bed with me. Then she plasters herself to my side and stays that way all night. Which means I get very little sleep. When 5:30 a.m. comes along, I can hardly drag myself out of bed and then I just stutter through the morning routine. The other challenge is that inadequate sleep is one of my triggers for lupus flares and headaches. If I don't get enough sleep, I pay for it the whole day with pain in my joints and a throbbing headache. I go to bed by 10 p.m. at the latest and stick to that religiously.



I have to separate the habit of getting up early from the habits of scripture study, exercise, and Swedish practice. It was working so beautifully for me--and it was so peaceful. But at this point, until I figure out how to help my daughter so she sleeps peacefully alone in her bed, I cannot sacrifice my sleep to this morning routine. This is a temporary glitch. My little girl will grow up and won't need me at night in the same way, so I'm going to just let this one go. My goal is to prioritize scripture study, exercise, and Swedish as soon as I can during the day. I can do those things while Winter sleeps or while she is occupied.



I am also going to count my outdoor work on my yard and garden as exercise. I work hard and my health monitor is showing that I am actively burning a good number of calories as I work.


Statement of Intention:

I will continue to maintain my habits of scripture study, exercise, and language practice but without sacrificing the sleep I need to function as a parent and person. I will meet the needs of my little one without feeling guilty or upset. It will all work out.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Wondering Wednesday: Tackling and Finishing Big Projects

It took me a long time to learn, but I finally figured out that with my personality, I need to tackle big projects in consistent daily chunks, and work toward a finished product. Especially with my life as a mother, I can't really spend hours of my day on one thing. Most of the time, I have 20-30 minute chunks to work on things and then I have to move on to something different.

Here are some of the things I tackle in consistent chunks:

Yard work
Scrapbook projects
Writing projects
Exercise
Scripture Study
Sewing Projects


I need to expand this method to decluttering and organizing my home. It really works.


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Spiritual Sunday: Developing Spiritual Habits

Do you remember the story of Peter walking on water in the New Testament? Christ had sent his apostles ahead of him on a ship on the sea of Galilee (which, incidentally, is a fresh water lake in the upper part of Israel). A storm had cropped up and the apostles are alarmed. (I always kind of wonder at this. At least some of these men were fisherman so they probably knew the lake in and out. Incidentally, the Sea of Galilee is shaped like a bowl, so when a storm comes around the waves getting going pretty high.) Anyhow, in the middle of this tempest tossed sea, Christ comes walking to them on the water. Peter, in a burst of faith, jumps out of the boat and starts walking toward Christ. Then, he starts rethink his situation, loses his focus on the Savior and starts to sink. He reaches out to the Savior, who saves him, and reminds him that if his faith had been stronger, he would have been fine.

Peter seems to have a bit of a hot head and jumps impulsively into situations. I think there have been so many times when my faith is like a bright flame that burns out too quickly, much like a lit match. In an effort to cultivate a steady faith, I've been working on developing habits to nurture my faith. I study my scriptures daily (most often in the morning before my children awake) and I'm feeling a steadiness and stability in my soul that is very comforting.

I don't know why it took me so many years, but I'm finally starting to realize that slow and steady wins the race. I need the benefits of consistency to sustain me. I need a steady, strong, stable faith to help me weather the storms that are inevitable.

What do you do to cultivate your faith through daily habits?


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Friday, January 29, 2016

"Better Than Before": summarizing and learning from the book: Pt. 1

I'm a big fan of Gretchen Rubin. I've read most of her books and have utilized them to create happiness in my life. Lately, I've noticed that I have a deep desire to great habits--not so much goals, although I do enjoy making and keeping goals. But really, deep down, I want to make habits that last a lifetime and lead to big changes over my lifetime. I bought the book sometime ago, but had a hard time reading it. I have learned that with certain types of info, I need to listen first and then read later. I almost all the way through the audio version and have had a lot of thoughts and realizations. I am now re-reading the book and working my way through the exercises.  (note, this series is not intended to ever replace the book--it is just a way for me to work through it so I can implement habits in my life. I recommend if you are serious about changing your habits, you should buy the book.)

In the note to the reader in the book, Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, the author, Gretchen Rubin states, "Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life...If we change our habits, we change our lives...But we each must cultivate the habits that work for us."

This really struck me because it is absolutely true. I have observed that my children do better when we have routine and schedules. We are healthier, happier, and nicer to one another when we have good habits.

Rubin suggests that you identify habits you would like to develop before you start with the book, so here is my list:

1) Exercise daily so I have energy and strength to get through my days. Also, I want to build muscle mass as I head into my 40's so that the latter half of my life is productive. This habit will also help me continue to sustain good health with my lupus.

2) Improve eating habits--especially reducing or eliminating consumption of sugar. This will also help me as I deal with lupus.

3) Implement a daily scripture study habit so that I will develop spiritual strength, great fortitude and faith, and be more in tune with the Spirit. I am also anxious to learn and grow in my gospel knowledge.

4) Develop a cleaning routine in my house that is sustainable so I don't spend all my time cleaning. I want to have a clean, orderly home. I am happier and function better when my home is orderly and clean. It doesn't have to be spotless, but functional.

5) Create daily. I find great joy in being creative in writing, music, and scrapbooking. It gives me a lift and I am a nicer person to be around. I often don't take the time I need to be creative. Or I am too tired to be creative.

6) Read daily from the classics. There are so many books I have wanted to read, but I often read fluff. I want to be inspired by powerful works that push me to think.


© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED