During Christmas Eve, Swedes serve a smorgasbord of select treats that follow a certain pattern, down to the types of food served and to the timing of the service. With that in mind, although it is much too early in the season to refer to a smorgasbord, here are a few favorites I have come across.
When God's Lovc Is So Big It Makes You Feel Uncomfortable, a thoughtful piece about the atonement, forgiveness, and Brock Turner made me think deeply. This particular passage is well-worth printing and referring to anytime grave injustices are done--which happens all the time.
But another way of interpreting this is that God loves EVERYBODY, including sinners like Brock Turner. That God is crying with Brock’s family and friends as they watch how his choices have forever altered his life and the life of his victim. That God is supporting Brock as he suffers through the consequences of his sin just as much as God is working on healing the terrible, awful, almost irreparable wounds Brock inflicted behind that dumpster. It could mean that God would want us to pray for the survivor of the assault AS WELL AS the assaulter.
I wrote the following comment on the blog piece:
I just wrote a big blog post about rape and sexual assault on my blog so I have been thinking about this topic a lot.
But I have also been thinking about the atonement. For a long time, I thought the atonement was all about the sinner. That seems to be how it is referenced constantly by our church leaders and everyone I know.
I thought about the atonement in this narrow, tightly defined way until a dear friend, after sharing her story of being physically and emotionally abused by her mother, found healing and peace through the atonement. She is one of the most emotionally stable and whole people I know.
That rocked my world. So yes, I believe God’s love is way bigger than we can imagine. I think most of us aren’t actually accessing the atonement for healing from the wounds which were inflicted upon us by others. I think sometimes we are so paralyzed by our pain, grief, and suffering as we grapple with the afer-effects of abuse, addiction, etc., that we don’t even know that healing is there or how to begin.
I think the only way the Atonement can work to allow a sinner to be forgiven is that God has to offer the victim a way to be healed and become whole again. I think that’s the atonement. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure I’m not.
I was so impressed by this article where the magazine cover of a popular teens' magazine is totally and appropriately revamped. This is the kind of magazine I want my daughters to read.
And, I've written too much tonight! What's the best thing you have read or listened to this week?
I have a huge girl crush on the American Olympic athlete, Simone Biles. She is astounding and her athleticism and skill is beyond amazing. She totally crushed it at the Olympics.
In March 2016, members of the General Auxiliary Presidencies issued a call to LDS women around the world to reach out in loving ways to the 60 million refugees, half of whom are children, who have been forcibly displaced from their homes. My favorite talk was by Linda Burton when she asked the poignant question, What if their story were my story?
I have written about refugees on my blog a lot. It's a cause I really care about, even though I have never had to flee my home to keep my family alive. I do know a little of what it is like to go to a foreign place where you don't know anyone, cannot speak the language, and are very much the outsider. However, my privilege, with its opportunities and security, has never placed me in an identical situation as one millions of refugee mothers are facing as they try desperately to find peace and security.
This American Life recently sent a team of journalists to the refugee camps in Greece and have already aired two episodes about the people living in the camps and their experiences. I have only listened to the first episode, "Are We There Yet?" The second episode, "Don't Have to Live Like a Refugee", promises to be just as poignant and powerful as the first.
In the first episode, journalists spoke with Syrian and Afghan families who fled the violence and war of their home countries. They had hoped to pass through Greece and end up in different parts of Europe. However, they find themselves stuck in camps, unable to move forward as they cope with the difficult and complex bureaucracy to apply for refugee status. Greece, a country struggling to survive economically, has been living with austerity measures for 6 years, has been incredibly generous to the refugees, considering their own pitiful economic status.
I was particularly struck by the story of a family with six children. The mother has tried so hard to keep her family together. Her husband has been almost shattered by the violence and fear and so she is left to lead their family as best as she can given the circumstances. She worries about her young son who is clearly suffering from PTSD and has stopped developing emotionally and behaviorally. Her eldest son is desperate to return to school and develop his abilities and skills. Instead, he builds amazing things in the camp, trying to keep busy. It doesn't always work and more often than not, he gets into trouble.
The people in these camps have few outlets for education or doing meaningful work. While they are safe, they must deal with the emotional fallout of their horrific experiences while coping with overwhelming boredom. Its a hard situation.
After listening, I was so impressed with the Greek government and the Greek people in the way they have tried to handle this challenging situation. I feel so much compassion for the refugees who have lost so much and are trying desperately to rebuild their lives.
Sometimes I wonder how my family would cope in those circumstances. It's so scary to contemplate, and yet 60 million people around the world are dealing with this on a daily basis--relying on the kindness of strangers to survive. We could do better than we are doing, and yet fear are holding so many people and countries back from doing the right thing.
The whole thing just makes me feel horribly sad.
As a Mormon, I can't help but think of a powerful story in the Book of Mormon. The sons of Mosiah went to the Lamanites, their people's mortal enemies, to teach the gospel. They converted a great many Lamanites to the gospel. This caused a huge schizm among the Lamanite people. There was so much contention that an army of Lamanites attacked the Lamanites that had converted. The converts chose to submit to the attack rather than fight. Thousands died that day--they just bowed their heads in submission. This had a powerful effect on the people and many more Lamanites joined the church after that. Still, the position of these converts was tenuous at best, and the sons of Mosiah eventually reached out to the Nephite government for help. The Nephites, who had been at war with the Lamanites intermittently for 5 centuries, offered a refuge for these convert Lamanites. They gave them land and offered protection to these refugees. See, the refugees, knowing their past, had made a covenant or a pact to never take up the sword to fight again. Because of this, they were vulnerable. Rather than insist they break their pact, the Nephites offered them protection and help. In a time of enormous conflict, this decision led to the saving grace of the Nephite people. Years later, finding themselves in a war with the Lamanites that was literally tearing apart the country-both externally and internally--the Lamanite converts sent a group of their young sons as soldiers. They also provided food to the Nephite soldiers. This little band of young men who were Lamanite converts ended up providing a huge service to the Nephites.
What if the Nephites had refused to offer shelter and protection to the Lamanite converts--a people they rightly feared because of the war and conflict that had characterized their relationship for centuries? I think the story would have been totally different. But their compassion and generosity led to their salvation. Pretty thought-provoking, isn't it?
This week I listened to a pretty darn interesting podcast from Invisiblia called, "Flip the Script". My apologies that you actually have to scroll down the page once clicking on the link.
Two things really struck me.
First, the story at the beginning of the episode about how the friends changed a dangerous situation to a peaceful one using a technique where you do the opposite of what the other person does, instead of mirroring their behavior. The two narrators challenge the idea that this experience was a miracle, despite the participants' personal feelings. I have no doubt that the woman in the story actually employed this technique, with a great result. However, I disagree that it wasn't a miracle. How did she know how to do that in such a scary situation, when our most primal emotions emerge? I think her action was miraculous--even the more so for manifesting itself in such a scary and potentially violent situation.
Second, the two narrators go to Denmark, to Aarhus, where they meet two police officers who faced the problem of a great number of young Muslim men becoming radicalized and going to Syria to fight with different Islamic factions. Their response to the plight of these young men was unique. They looked for ways to safely brings these young men back into their communities in Denmark. Their actions made a tremendous difference for the young men and for their community.
My temper frequently gets the better of me. I often mirror frustration and anger when dealing with others which inevitably escalates the situation. What if I worked on doing precisely the opposite? This isn't a new idea. The idea of responding in an angry situation with a soft answer can be found in the Bible. Scientific studies are starting to bear out this idea in conflict resolution. I want to put this into practice right now in my life and with my family. I like this idea because it places the person in an active situation and in control, rather than being reactive and out of control.
I recently reread Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I have read it several times and watched practically every movie version available. I think Jane Austen is a master at her craft. She composes sentences brilliantly. I find her characters so interesting and complex. Someone, she manages to write stories that have transcended time, generations, cultures, and history. Her books can be read over and over again and torn apart in all different directions. I think her works are true classics because they have so much to offer a reader.
I was a little surprised at my reactions from this reading, which may change upon reading it again:
I really, really, really disliked Mr. Darcy. Even at the end, when he redeems himself, I kept wondering what was behind the change of heart. I don't know why I had this reaction, because Mr. Darcy is often the romantic ideal of practically every woman. He was horribly pompous in the beginning which felt pretty hypocritical given the company he kept with Mr. Bingley's sisters who were rude, condescending, and in the case of the one sister, practically throwing herself at him. I didn't feel like I ever got enough information to understand his change of heart.
But I think that inexplicable change of behavior is Jane Austen's pattern with men. Her male characters often say and do wild things that don't make sense. Why did Wickham run away with Lydia? She had nothing to offer him in any real sense. I kept searching for clues in the text to discover why he ended up with Lydia but didn't find any satisfying answers. Perhaps she manipulated him?
The relationships between the female characters fascinated me because this was a society which tended to segregate along gender lines.
There wasn't much difference between Lydia & Kitty, and Caroline Bingley & Mrs. Hurst.
Mr. and Mrs. Bennett were terrible parents. Mr. Bennett was just as foolish as his wife. He was wasteful with his money, didn't plan for his daughters' future and security. Instead they kept trying to have a boy--as if a brother would actually take care of the girls. Mrs. Bennett seemed to have based her plan for the girls on their looks instead of providing education and training so they would have additional skills and gifts that would make them more viable marriage options.
Jane Austen perfectly highlights how precarious life was for women without marriage opportunities and how they had to make hard choices. Charlotte married a ridiculous man for security. All five of the Bennett girls were literally at the mercy of their cousin. I think Austen really shows how difficult and scary life was for women without opportunity to gain skills for real employment if marriage wasn't an option. She also shows how often men failed in their duties to the women they had obligations to. Mr. Bennett was careless with his money so there was nothing of note to pass onto the girls.
Perhaps this is why Mr. Darcy becomes so appealing to Lizzie. He is not neglectful in his duty to the women in his care. He carefully manages things for his sister so she has good prospects and ensures that she receives a good education. He is aware of the needs of the people who depend on him and provides for them fairly.
Have you read Pride and Prejudice? What are your thoughts about this book? What is your favorite film adaptation of the book?
Cotton candy might just be the Devil's own candy. It is sticky and gross but little kids just can't get enough of it, especially my little sugar monster, Winter. My sister bought Winter some cotton candy at the rodeo, and she just went to town on it, so much that my sister couldn't stop giving her candy and then taking pictures of her.
One of the highlights of our trip west was going to the Billing Montana Temple. My parents work there on Wednesdays. I prepared some family names and my boys were able to perform baptisms for the dead with their dad and grandfather officiating. We watched my sister's three boys as she went to the temple and performed ordinances. Then, after my sister-in-law picked up our kids, Brent and I went to do sealings. With my parents, we were able to do several family names, sealing children to parents. It was sweet and sacred. I love the temple and I love doing family history work.
The sky in Montana is incredible. I couldn't get over how beautiful the temple looked from every angle that day.
The Prisma app takes regular pictures and turns them into works of art. I loved the different styles on the app.
I haven't written about books in a long time. I have several authors I enjoy reading. Here are a few that I would recommend.
Kate Morton crafts complex books which weave the past and present together in interesting and intriguing ways. If you are looking for mystery, family history, and the ways family secrets cause complex family challenges, then Kate's books are for you.
Anne Perry is probably the best historical crime fiction author I have ever encountered. She has the deepest, most intimate knowledge of human character that I have ever read in fiction. She has a few different series. Her Charlotte and Thomas Pitt mysteries are set in late Victorian London and feature a secret organization of people who undermine the government. The Monk series is set in London right after the Crimean War. I like this series best because Hester is a dynamic, fiercely independent nurse trying to make her way in a world which has very different standards for women. Monk is a man who has lost his past after getting hit over the head. Coming face to face with all his flaws, arrogance, and conceit and seeking to change is humbling. Anne Perry's five book series about World War I are the best fiction novels I have ever read about the war. A warning though, Perry deals with the darkest aspects of human nature and sometimes the novels are very violent--though never gratuitous.
L.M. Montgomery is a master at capturing the humorous and dark sides of ordinary rural people. Her breadth of work is wonderful. Her books are for the young and old alike. I find I never get tired of her stories and can read and reread them dozens of times. Once you get through the Anne and Emily series, there are other magical stories to discover. My favorite is The Blue Castle which hilarious and tender.
Who are your favorite authors? What books to you return to again and again?
Because I am an audio learner, I LOVE listening to podcasts. One of my favorite podcasts is Extreme Genes.
The podcast shares an interesting mix of news and tech tips for genealogists. My favorite portion of the podcast are the personal stories shared by fellow genealogists. I always feel excited to tackle my own family stories after listening to an episode.
This episode features a guest who met the last living Civil War Soldier when he was a boy in the 1950s.
Episode 137 features and interview with a guest whose slave ancestors were sold to save Georgetown University from financial ruin.
Scrap Gals hosts a delightfully funny, educational, and interesting podcast about scrapbooking. A few weeks ago, they shared an episode called Scrapping the Pain Away with guest Andrea Bethke. Andrea suffers from an extremely painful chronic condition where she is constant pain from her nerve endings. This was an incredibly powerful show. I appreciate Andrea Bethke's drive to make her life meaningful as she scraps and finds a way to live through the pain.
I appreciated Tracie Claiborne's
admonition that we aren't our pain or our condition. Truer words have
never been spoken. I was diagnosed with lupus 12 years ago and I had to
take this to heart. I do speak about my disease to help others learn,
but it isn't my identity. It affects my life, but it doesn't run or rule
my life.
I
appreciated the strong message to find gratitude, happiness, and joy
when experiencing extreme suffering. I think this is a life lesson every
person in the world will have to learn. Many of us do not learn it but
if you get that secret, you are a remarkable person.
I
also appreciate the analysis and discussion of scrapbooking as a
powerful tool to express gratitude, process pain and challenges, and
transcending difficulty and tragedy.
Please listen to this episode. Even if you have no interest in scrapbooking, this has some profound life lessons everyone needs to hear.
The Maxwell Podcast recently interviewed author, Marilynne Robinson. I only just discovered her work when the book club I belong to read her novel Lila, a book I was deeply impressed with. I wrote the following about it on my Goodreadsreview.
I was moved by the story of Lila-her challenges and her fear of loving and being loved. I was humbled by her intimate reflection on difficult biblical texts which were informed by her painful experiences. She felt the Bible in a way that scholarly attention could not duplicate. Her relationship with John Ames was transforming. I felt like the spiritual aspects of the book were powerful as Lila grappled with her past and the people she knew. Her questions could be the questions of anyone who struggles with their past. Put in context they are meaningful. John Ames' compassion, loving, and mercy toward Lila had me openly weeping in places.
Marilynne Robinson is a deeply spiritual writer. It was fitting that Blair Hodges interviewed her on his show. She said a lot of profound and interesting things in the podcast both on spiritual topics and secular ones. Her comment about writer's block looks at the malady in a way I had never before considered.
ROBINSON: You know, I talk to my students about writer’s block, the idea that they simply come to a point where they can’t proceed, which happens to every writer. But what it really means is that you have to stop and consider that there are things that you have not yet understood, and that can be a very good thing. The ideas that you have after what feels like a drought are often very strong, very complex. This campus which I walk around on all the time is sort of dotted with places where I was not thinking about my fiction and then suddenly I think, “Oh, of course.” And then I don’t let myself get any farther until I get home and can write. [Laughing]
She also talks about wonder of living on this earth and sees it as a visionary experience.
ROBINSON: That it’s a question, not of having isolated religious visions, but of being sensitive to the fact that that character of experience is always available, waiting to be perceived, in effect. And so one of the things I think that’s striking about Calvin is he doesn’t talk about heaven very much at all, he says we can’t know anything about it. We’re given this world. This world is essentially visionary and it is a waste of what we are given to try to dwell on what we have not been given in this instance, we have not been shown or told, you know? So, I’m very aware of John Ames as seeing the sacred as implicit in the ordinary. And I think that’s truly important frankly.
I highly recommend listening to the podcast, reading the transcript, and going to the library to read Marilynne Robinson's books--especially if you want to have a trans-formative and meaningful experience reading literature.
Freakonomics consistently produces an interesting and informative podcast that I don't ever want to miss. The past few weeks have focused on various aspects of mastery and productivity. I learned quite a lot from the episodes and think that everyone should listen for a mini-course on personal improvement.
The first episode, How to Be More Productive, focuses on both personal and work productivity. There were lots of insights to be gleaned, especially as a busy mother to six children.
The second episode, How to Be Great at Just About Anything, discusses the elements that are needed to achieve mastery and excel. Both talent and significant effort are important.
The third episode, a bonus episode, is an extended interview with author, Malcom Gladwell.
The fifth episode, How to Win Games and Beat People, while funny and oddly charming, wasn't as helpful. Then again, I do not enjoy competitive games. If you are a game player, this would be worth your time.
Did you know that there are 27 million slaves in the world today and 2 million of those slaves are children, often sold into sex slavery?
This fact devastates me and should horrify you. Its real and none of us have the right to ignore it or pretend that it doesn't exist.
A small group of men have begun to fight against this trafficking. Over the years, they have launched successful sting operations to shut down trafficking rings.
On May 16th, Monday, 480 movie theaters in the United States will be showing a documentary film called The Abolitionists about the work these men are doing to free children who were sold into sexual slavery.
This movie will only be shown on one day, unless it has a good turnout on Monday.
To me this movie, and the work being done by good men shows how men can use their power and unique qualities as a powerful and righteous force for good.
I am still listening to the talks from the April 2016 General Conference. So far, these are my favorite talks.
What Shall We Do? by Neill F. Marriott
I loved what Sister Marriott said about being a mother. This talk made me ponder on how I could improve the way I nurture others.
"Mothers literally make room in their bodies to nurture an unborn baby—and hopefully a place in their hearts as they raise them—but nurturing is not limited to bearing children. Eve was called a “mother” before she had children.4 I believe that “to mother” means “to give life.” Think of the many ways you give life. It could mean giving emotional life to the hopeless or spiritual life to the doubter. With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God. Sisters, all of us came to earth with these life-giving, nurturing, maternal gifts because that is God’s plan."
Refuge from the Storm by Elder Patrick Kearon
I have been so concerned about the massive refugee crisis that afflicts 60 million people around the world. Elder Kearon's remarks about the refugees and our responsibilities toward them really touched my heart. I'm working on ways to become more actively involved in my community.
"Being a refugee may be a defining moment in the lives of those who are refugees, but being a refugee does not define them. Like countless thousands before them, this will be a period—we hope a short period—in their lives. Some of them will go on to be Nobel laureates, public servants, physicians, scientists, musicians, artists, religious leaders, and contributors in other fields. Indeed, many of them were these things before they lost everything. This moment does not define them, but our response will help define us."
The Price of Priesthood Power by Elder Russell M. Nelson
Elder Nelson's stunning story about the girls he operated on who died and how he reached out to their family is one that will stay with me forever. I was really touched by his humility and desire to help this family who had lost so much.
"To bear means to support the weight of that which is held. It is a sacred trust to bear the priesthood, which is the mighty power and authority of God. Think of this: the priesthood conferred upon us isthe very same power and authority through which God created this and numberless worlds, governs the heavens and the earth, and exalts His obedient children."
What were your favorite talks from General Conference?
Today I want to share a powerful article written by James Clear recounting an exchange between Martha Graham and Agnes De Mille. Martha said the following to her friend, Agnes,
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”"
Ever since reading those words a year ago, I have been much more open to expressing my creativity through writing and scrapbooking and sharing my work openly with others.
I first learned about Third-Culture Kids (TCKs) when I moved to Saudi Arabia. The concept explained a lot of what my children were experiencing and gave me a lot of comfort about how to deal with our globe-trotting, ex-pat lifestyle--that we are not currently living. Finding Home Between Worlds explores this concept and offers excellent advice for global families navigating the complexities of a nomad lifestyle.
And finally, another brilliant piece about writing from the Atlantic, where author Kathryn Harrison discusses writing in "To Write, Stop Thinking". Harrison deftly analyzes and discusses Joseph Brodsky's poem, "On Love" and also reflects on the power of writing. She says,
"I have to write. It’s not an option. When I write, I am literally building myself a place in which to live. Once I’m firmly established within the narrative I pop awake in the morning and it’s the first thing I think about. Not in an analytical way, as in “Oh, I haven’t really reached the crisis point and it’s already page 200—I’d better work on that.” It’s very much just running towards and into the place I most want to be."
