Gorgeous Fall Weather, Grad School, Grass Seed

October 14-20, 2019

I want to return to a weekly recounting of our lives. Life moves so quickly and I don't want to forget the little things that happen in my family.

What a full and busy week we have had! Here are some of the highlights:

Columbus Day
We had a school holiday on Monday. Unfortunately, I spent the day doing a homework assignment for my ProGen Study Group. (ProGen is a year-long study group that studies the book Professional Genealogy edited by Elizabeth Shown Mills. Each month we read 2-3 chapters, complete an assignment, give feedback on one another's assignments, and then have an hour-long group discussion about the readings. I am taking this in preparation for becoming a certified Genealogist.) I was sad about having to do homework because I didn't manage my time better last week. However, my kids were good sports about not being able to go apple picking. Instead, they played outside in our beautiful yard covered in leaves. In the afternoon, I was able to slip outside and get a few pictures of the three younger kids with the beautiful fall leaves and autumn light.

Grass Seed
Ever since all the construction on our home, our front and back yards have been a mess. Both yards were dug up to redo the septic and then install geothermal heating and cooling. There are ruts and its quite dangerous to run in the yard because there are so many holes. Brent ordered several yards of fill dirt that we have used to fill the holes and level the yard. Then we covered the front yard with topsoil. On Tuesday Brent stayed home from work in the morning and he and I planted grass seed and covered the seed with straw. It was hard work, but we are hoping it will yield a better yard. The next project will be our deck.

Grad School
I started grad school online on Wednesday. I am majoring in History and taking courses through Arizona State University. My first class is Oral History. I have already read a couple hundred pages, written some short responses to questions, and conducted my first oral interview. I love it and am so happy that I finally get to pursue this goal.

A Night Out with Friends
On Wednesday evening, my friend Natalie performed at The Winery which is an old stone church turned into a restaurant and bar. They have a stage and host a lot of musical events. Brent stayed home with the kids and I met some friends from my town. My friend and her singing partner did a wonderful job singing and playing for about two hours. It was so nice to get to know some other moms a little better.

Brooke Gets Glasses
At Brooke's last physical, her doctor mentioned that she needed to have a real eye exam. I took her to an optician on Thursday where she got glasses. I think she looks great and she is very happy to see better!

Josef Gets Asked to Talk More in Class
This week I received an email from Joe's Global History asking for more participation. Confused, I asked if he was in trouble and his teacher replied that he was a wonderful student and that she wanted to hear more from him because he had so much to contribute. I had to laugh because I have never had a teacher ask my children to talk more in class. I admit that it can be hard for Josef to be the younger brother of Walter and Trent and that he doesn't often get a word in edgewise with them. I do agree that he has a lot to contribute and encouraged him to speak up more.

Jonathan's Instagram Account
Jonathan asked if he could have an Instagram account. We set up our rules and regulations about social media. He mostly posts pictures of his cat.

The School Musical
Both Brooke and Jonathan got parts in the school musical. Rehearsals began this week and it looks like they both will have a lot of fun.

The Hartford Temple
Brent and I went to the Hartford Temple this Saturday with another couple. It was lovely to spend two hours in such a peaceful, beautiful place doing sacred work.

Trunk or Treat
Our ward hosted a Trunk or Treat event on Saturday. Winter was disappointed with the quality of our trunk and let Brent and I know that we didn't have the best car.

Aches, Anxiety, and Ambition

For several years, perhaps even a decade or so, I have dealt with shoulder pain in my right shoulder. At times it is so acute that my arm seems to go numb and then tingle painfully. Then two years ago, my right hip began doing much of the same thing but unfortunately, the pain has been more unbearable. I have been to physical therapy, gotten massages, taken muscle relaxers, tried acupuncture and have gone to yoga. All these things help to some degree, temporarily. I figure a combination of side-sleeping, sitting down, anxiety and stress all contribute to these ailments.

A month ago at a mental health seminar, one of the instructors was teaching about meditation. She prefaced her instruction with a statement that the most effective way to reduce stress was to be very intentional and selective about what you choose to do, cautioning that all the meditation and yoga will never fully work if we are over-worked and over-booked. Her statement hit me with lightning force. Just that day I had composed a list full of to-dos that made me feel like throwing up because it was overwhelming.

I have been pondering her statement since then and considering the life I have and what I want it to be. This whole year has been focused on that, really. I am blessed/cursed to be very ambitious and full of ideas. (This explains the whole having six kids thing...) Sometimes though, I am so obtuse because it has taken years of unrelenting pain from anxiety and stress to realize that I cannot do it all and be happy. Even worse, I have been sabotaging myself and my goals by trying to do it all.

So this is a season of paring down to my most profound ambitions and essentials. My to-do list is no longer pages long. I don't need to write down every household task because crossing off isn't giving me any joy but rather heart palpitations. One thing I cannot neglect is my physical health so exercise and good nutrition are even more important. Even the simple act of only writing down three things to do daily feels better.

Total House Renovation: Part 1-The Kitchen

My readers and friends know that on July 24, 2017, we had a serious house fire. The fire started in the garage and was extinguished fairly quickly but the smoke damage was extensive. While the exterior was saved, the entire interior had to be gutted and completely rebuilt. This was a long, painful, and agonizing process but the pay-off was huge. I thought I would do a series of posts on the rebuilt and explain the choices we made in the remodel.

The fire as seen from the road. 

First, we bought our house in 2013 and lived in it for four years before the fire. In retrospect, this was good because we learned what did and did not work about our house. Therefore the changes we made were very practical and informed by how we lived in the house. A few quick details about our home. It was built in the late 1960s and is a typical raised ranch; it was fully renovated before we bought it. We loved our home pre-fire and found it very comfortable and livable for our family of eight.

This is kind of a messy picture from the kitchen but does show the layout. It was designed in a U-shape.  The appliances were a good size and I had plenty of room to cook and work. The eat-in kitchen area was not adequate for our family size and we often angled the table in odd ways to make it work. In March 2017, we removed the french doors in the eating area because they were drafty and always bumped into the table and replaced them with sliding glass doors.

This is what the kitchen looked after the fire.

After the entire house was gutted. This is the kitchen area.

When planning our kitchen we worked with Anson Fillerup Design to create the initial design. We decided to eliminate the wall between the kitchen and living room and put in a large beam to stabilize the area. Peter came to our home, took extensive measurements, and crafted a design that was aesthetically pleasing and practical. He has a genuine gift for visualizing spaces and transferring them to sketches that I could understand. We refined the design and analyzed the use of every single cupboard, shelf, and drawer with custom cabinet maker, Lisa Turner of  Modern Cabinet Company based in Poughkeepsie, New York. They have their own factory and create the cabinets on site.

Our top needs for the kitchen were: adequate cabinet storage for cooking supplies and food, functional layout that accounted for our use of the space, and adequate space for a large table to seat our entire family. Additionally, I wanted the space to feel light and airy without being so large that it was overwhelming.

The Final Design!

We had a major hiccup in our design when we realized that the refrigerator we ordered was too large for design. With a lot of thought, we flipped the island from a vertical orientation to horizontal and switched the refrigerator with one of the pantry cabinets.

I wanted grey painted cabinets and chose Benjamin Moore Pearl Grey for the color. I love it because it is quite light but is different from the typical white kitchen. I feel like this is a classic design that is fresh and modern. The island is painted Benjamin Moore Hale Navy (HC-154). I chose this before everyone and their dog started doing this, lol! We opted to put trim on the beam between the kitchen and living room. I like it because it visually separates the spaces while still keeping everything unified.

I did not want tile on the floor because I feel tile is hard on my back. The floor is hardwood and is stained red mahogany. The handles and pulls came from Home Depot.

We have a huge pantry area that makes my baker's heart sing.

All the appliances are GE Profile. The counters are quartz. We chose a concrete grey from Ikea for the grey cabinets and purchased them during the annual kitchen sale. We purchased the white quartz with grey veining from a local stone dealer in Cortlandt Manor, NY. We opted for quartz countertops because they are so durable and require absolutely no additional sealing and maintenance. I love how easy they are to clean and that actually look clean when I wipe them down.

The island light comes from Wayfair. I love the low profile of the light! The island chairs come from Ikea. They are sturdy, attractive, and easy to clean. The island has a stand for my KitchenAid mixer and comes out to counter height. We have racks for bakeware. We also have two large deep drawers where we put kitchen appliances. The other side of the island has a small bookcase for my cookbooks.

We have a deep single bowl sink from Kraus. I don't remember where we ordered the faucets from. The faucet on the left is for filtered drinking water (with an RO filtering system) because we use well water. We have a trash compactor that we love as it reduces the volume of our trash significantly and is easy to use.

The backsplash is a classic white subway tile. We used that because we had a surplus of tile from the bathroom and I thought it worked well with the kitchen.

I love my kitchen. It is a dream to use for baking and cooking and a dream to clean. We have deep dish drawers right by the dishwasher which makes putting away the dishes so easy and fast.

Any questions or comments? 

The Strength of a Small Community

Recently, my little town in New York was featured in the New York Times. The article touted the lakes, beautiful forests, good schools, and affordable homes. It forgot to mention the community spirit, but how could a real estate reporter cover that? It takes living in this community, experiencing firsthand that generosity and participating in acts of community generosity to fully understand the power of this community.

We moved to Putnam Valley five and a half years ago. I honestly didn't think much about the community until we were confronted with their generosity during and after our house fire. Here are some ways the community reached out to us: neighbors provided places for us to stay, diapers and clothing were immediately donated, so many clothes were donated that each of my six children was fully outfitted for school that fall, thousands of dollars were donated to our family to help us get back on our feet, each of the school principals contacted us to assess immediate and long-term needs, people have listened to us and consoled us, my neighbors have been so patient through the rebuilding process, the post office has bent over backward to help us keep our mail situation under control, we continue to feel the town's love, support, and sympathy for us as we finish rebuilding our home. I cannot think or talk about these experiences without openly weeping. We were so overwhelmed with gratitude at the kindness and generosity extended to our family.

But this isn't unusual for our town, not by a long-shot. Here are some of the things that our town has done to help others over the past 2 years:

• Provided support through money and assistance to the family of a 4th grader who was killed in a car accident.
• Provided support through money and assistance to the mother of a 5th grader who was killed during the terrible March storms of 2018.
• Provided assistance and help to a veteran whose roof had been damaged from the March 2018 storms and whose insurance wouldn't cover it.
• Wore purple and had a special day to support a young girl who has a rare genetic disease.
• Two local mothers gathered donations to help a large family with multiple small children for Christmas.
• Each year the elementary school gathers donations to send care packages to deployed service men and women.
• Each year the elementary school gathers specific donations to provide several full Thanksgiving dinners for local families.
• Recently a senior at the high school died in a tragic accident. Students created t-shirts in his honor and each of the sports teams purchased and wore those shirts at their final athletic events. The money from the shirts was donated to the family. Homes all around the valley were lit in blue to honor this young man and his family. A go-fund-me account was established and the goal was quickly met.
• When one of the 4th-grade teachers had a severe infection on her brain stem, meal trains were established along with other concrete actions to serve the family--despite the fact that they lived in a different town.
• People are often quite generous in donating time, money, and talents for local fundraisers.
• All three schools have several events and activities dedicated to helping others in significant ways.
• Neighbors rescued a man who had fallen through the ice at a local lake.

I could go on and on. When someone is in need or in crisis, our town steps up. We aren't perfect by any means, you should see the squabbles and fights about cell-phone towers, school budgets, property taxes, etc. But when push comes to shove, if you were in trouble, the town you would want to be in would be my town. 

I have relayed my experiences to friends in Sweden and family in Wyoming. They have all been astonished by the support and love we received. New Yorkers have a tough reputation, justly earned. But underneath that gruff exterior, usually lies a heart of gold.