My Lupus Pregnancy Miracles

 Today as my family celebrated the birthday of my youngest daughter, I couldn't help but reflect on the miracle that my youngest three children are. I was diagnosed with lupus in 2005, months after my third son was born. I lost a significant amount of weight, struggled with extreme pain and fatigue, lived with swollen joints, lost a lot of hair, and felt miserable. When I met with the rheumatologist in Sweden for the first time, I was warned that I should not have more children. At the time, I was extremely grateful for the three children I had. I concentrated on improving my health and enjoying my three young boys.

The next two years, my health improved with good medical care, medication, good food, and rest. After consultation with my doctor, my husband and I planned for another baby. Parts of this pregnancy went quite smoothly. I felt healthy and was able to remain active. Unfortunately, there were challenges with the baby's growth. I was hospitalized for a few days in my last trimester because her growth was so slow. The hospitalization was weird because the doctors never examined me. I did not have further tests. I was just required to stay in my bed. I delivered my daughter without complications, although she was a pound smaller than the rest of her siblings. When the nurse delivered the placenta, we discovered that it was smaller than normal and that it looked quite old. 

My fifth pregnancy was really a strange experience for most of it. We had returned to the United States, but I struggled with lupus flares and regulating my thyroid. I developed a lump in my neck the size of a golf ball and spent several weeks going to specialists to determine if I had cancer and what was happening with my body. I had the most extreme fatigue of my life. I went to a different doctor every day and would lay on the examination table half asleep while I waited for the doctor to come and visit me. Even though I was experiencing regular periods, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was totally surprised when it was positive. After confirming with a doctor, I found an ob/gyn to do an ultrasound. The day of my ultrasound happened to be my birthday. I was crying because I thought for sure my baby was not alive, not with all the bleeding I had. My mom called to wish me a happy birthday and I broke down and told her the whole story. At the doctor's office later that day, my husband and I were totally shocked to hear a strong heartbeat. Even though I hemorrhaged, my pregnancy was still viable. Aside from the bleeding, I had a normal pregnancy and delivery.

My husband and I decided to try for one more baby, but I suffered an early second-trimester miscarriage. I had an ultrasound scheduled while my husband was in Saudi Arabia on a work trip. When the technician was not able to find a heartbeat, I was in shock. I went home very anxious. Because of the time difference, it was tricky getting ahold of my husband through skype. When I finally talked to him, I asked him to come home as soon as possible. While he worked on arranging flights, I tried to figure things out on my end. He came home a few hours before my contractions began. I'm so glad he got home in time because it was a very difficult process to deliver the fetus. I lost a lot of blood and was very weak. I ended up having a D&C and received two blood transfusions.

After my miscarriage, my husband and I waited. He spent the next year traveling back and forth to Saudi Arabia. We moved to Saudi Arabia a  year later. Because of my lupus and his travels, we waited on having a baby. I was not able to see a rheumatologist or endocrinologist for my lupus and thyroid issues in Saudi Arabia. Because my pregnancies require special care we felt that it was not wise to have a baby in Saudi Arabia. I got pregnant the last month in Saudi Arabia and hemorrhaged again. An ultrasound showed a steady heartbeat. I rested as much as possible. Once we returned to the United States, I started seeing my doctor and specialists. Aside from the bleeding, I had a rather uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery.

 I feel so lucky that I was able to have three more children! They bring such joy to my life. 

Trying to Find Some Middle Ground with Covid-19

 We are entering our third year of the Covid-19 pandemic, which has significantly disrupted the world, politics, economies, supply chains, and people's lives. 

In the United States, Covid-19 is particularly divisive. Conservatives are less likely to believe in the severity and seriousness of the virus. They are less likely to wear masks or get vaccinated. They advocate for keeping schools open. Conservatives are against mask and vaccine mandates. On the other hand, liberals are incredibly worried about the severity of Covid-19. They are more likely to be vaccinated and wear masks. They advocate for mask and vaccine mandates and would like schools to go remote. 

Where do I fall in this debate? Religiously and ideologically, I am a conversative. I believe that Covid is a serious virus, especially deadly to the elderly and people with co-morbidities such as obesity. I believe that the majority of people who get Covid will survive it. I am grateful for the vaccine and have chosen to vaccinate myself and my family, including my children. I want schools to remain open. I wear a mask in public spaces and am okay with my children wearing masks at school. I do not think we should have vaccine or mask mandates. In fact, I think if we stopped mandating both of those things, a lot of the polarization would die down. I think that people should consult with a trusted doctor to consider the risks and benefits of vaccination and non-vaccination. I believe that families should make their own choices about vaccinating. 

The New York Times newsletter on January 25, 2022, analyzed the results of a recent Covid poll.

Here are some quotes from the analysis that I found most interesting. 

"Covid’s starkly different impact on the young and old has been one of the virus’s defining characteristics. It tends to be mild for children and younger adults but is often severe for the elderly. More than three-quarters of all U.S. Covid deaths have occurred among people 65 and older."

My takeaway: Covid is more deadly for the elderly than children. Therefore, we actually have more leeway and leverage with keeping schools open. Covid vaccination efforts should concentrate on the most at-risk group first, which has already been done. In New York, the elderly were the first group that was eligible to be vaccinated. 

"For the unvaccinated, however, Covid is worse than any other common virus. It has killed more than 865,000 Americans, the vast majority unvaccinated. In the weeks before vaccines became widely available, Covid was the country’s No. 1 cause of death, above even cancer and heart disease." My takeaway: Getting Covid is more deadly and risky for the unvaccinated than the vaccinated. (This is statistically true.) There will be some exceptions to this, of course. Some vaccinated people will die from Covid. Bottom line: getting vaccinated has enormous benefits. But again, I think everyone should have the right to consider their own health situation and make the decisions that are right for them. My daughter-in-law had an extreme reaction to the vaccine and feels reluctant to get a booster shot. I respect her decision and understand where she is coming from.  People are right to be worried, too. The worst effects have been on Black and Latino children, as well as children in high-poverty schools.  Most Democrats, for example, say they favor moving classes online in response to Omicron, despite widespread evidence that remote school has failed and little evidence that shutting schools leads to fewer Covid cases. Closed schools almost certainly do more damage to children and vaccinated adults than Omicron does.” My takeaway: Because Covid is significant less dangerous for children and the cons of remote schooling are so severe, schools should remain open (of course, staff shortages are a real issue). Liberals should reconsider their stance, especially because Latinos and Black children are more likely to be adversely affected by remote learning and school closures. Closing schools increases inequity for marginalized and vulnerable populations. In summary: Covid is real and is deadly, especially for the elderly and those with special conditions. Most people who get Covid will not die. People should seriously consider getting the vaccine and discuss this question with a trusted doctor. Children are not as at risk for having severe covid complications (Yes, there are exceptions, and parents should be able to exercise their rights to protect their children based on medical history.) We have enough evidence now to say that the benefits of school closures are small compared to the disadvantages of remote schooling. Schools should remain open. I think we need to try and maintain some normality using sensible precautions.  Even though the article doesn't specifically discuss vaccine and mask mandates, I think they do more harm than good.

Quotes taken from David Leonhardt, "Good morning, we walk through the results of the first Morning newsletter poll--on pandemic attitudes," "The Morning" Newsletter Column, The New York Times, January 25, 2022.

Grad School Books I Think My Friends Should Read

 As I was reviewing a grad school text today, I wished that more people would read this book. Here is a list of books I think my American friends should read.

Food Routes: Growing Bananas in Iceland and Other Tales from the Logistics of Eating by Robyn Metcalfe. 

As we are dealing with supply shortages and gaps, this book is particularly enlightening to understand the global supply system and why things work and don't work. 

Seven Myths of Africa in World History by David Northup

This short book debunks seven myths about Africa and provides a nice overview of African history. Remember Africa is an incredibly diverse continent with over 50 countries (ethnically, racially, culturally, genetically, etc.). 

Love Canal: A Toxic History from Colonial Times to the Present by Richard S. Newman

This book was hard to read because of the depressing material. But it is also important to understand the environmental impact that historical decisions have and to understand the role of government in monitoring and improving the environment.

The American Census: A Social History by Margo J. Anderson

As a genealogist, the American census is one of my most valued historical sources. The census is such an important tool that dictates a lot of public policy. Every American should understand why the census was created, how it was used historically, and how it is used today.

Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate by Leila Ahmed

The Western world has a very complicated history with Islam, the Middle East, and Asia. This book provides an accurate overview of Islam and women's roles within it. Well-written, very well-researched, and invaluable.

New World Faiths: Religion in Colonial America by Jon Butler

A good summary of religion in Colonial America. Invaluable to understand the nation's roots.

The Texture of Contact: European and Indian Settler Communities on the Frontiers of Iroquoia, 1667-1783 by David L. Preston

A really great book about the interactions between European colonist/settlers and Native Americans. Lots of amazing sources and provides a nuanced analysis of the frequent interactions. 

Men on Horseback: The Power of Charisma in the Age of Revolution by David A. Bell

This is probably the most well-written and engaging book of all the titles I suggested. Bell looks at the role of charismatic leaders during the Age of Revolution. He examines George Washington, Napolean Bonaparte, Toussaint, and Simon Bolivar. You will really enjoy this book.

Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland by Christopher Browning

Christopher Browning asks the question, "why did ordinary men become complicit in the holocaust." Through examining the men of the Reserve Police Battalion 101 the answers are surprising. The book isn't very long but makes you realize that it is harder to stand up for good than it is to comply with evil. Absolutely a must-read.

Strangers in the Land: Patterns of American Nativism 1860-1925 by John Higham

John Higham examines the rise of American Nativism which is anti-immigration and pro-expansionism in this book. Very well-written and profound. So relevant to today's debates about immigration.

America's Mission by Tony Smith

Smith examines America's role in spreading democracy and its imperialism. Smith asserts that the United States was crucial in helping democracy spread throughout the world. But he also expresses concerns about the trajectory of world-wide democracy and the rise of extremism. 

Honorable Mentions

Dispossessed Lives: Enslaved Women, Violence, and the Archive by Marisa J. Fuentes

Fuentes tries to reconstruct the lives of enslaved women in 18th-century Carribean. An unflinching look at the brutality of slavery and the many women (mostly white) who were complicit in enacting violence on their female slaves and trafficking them.

The Enlightened Economy by Joel Mokyr

Just read the first half and the epilogue. Mokyr's discussion of the Enlightenment and its role in the Industrial Revolution is incredible. The second half is boring.

Fin-de-Siecle Vienna: Politics and Piety by Carl E. Schorske

You should only read this if you got a degree in English literature or the humanities. In my class, only the English lit/humanities majors loved this book. A masterful examination of the arts in Vienna during the turn of the century. 

2021, in summary

 I have started and deleted a few 2021 recap posts. So much has happened, it's hard to shift through it all. This might be the longest blog post ever, sorry. 

1. I took four more classes for my master's degree program in History at Arizona State University and have maintained my 4.0 GPA. I take my last class, the capstone, in March! In the next two months I will be revising and expanding one historiography paper and one research paper. 

   - Gender History in North African Muslim countries: In this class, I studied texts about women and their history in North Africa. I have had a deep appreciation for Muslim cultures since living in the Middle East. The texts I read enhanced my understanding of Islam, Islamic culture, and people. My professor was from Morocco and spoke at least three languages fluently: Arabic, French, and English.

Primary Texts for the Class were: Women and Gender in Islam by Leila Ahmed, Dreams of Trespass by Fatima Mernissi, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, The Politics of Piety by Saba Mahmood, and Black Morocco by Chouki el Hamel. 

Books I read for my Research Paper: Khul-Khaal by Nayra Atiya, Family in the Middle East by Kathryn Yount, Planning the Family in Egypt by Kamran Asdar Ali, The Liberation of Women and the New Woman by Qasim Amin, Reading Arab Women's Autobiographies by Nawar Al-Hassan Golley

   - North American History: This class was an overview of the major historical periods and themes in primarily American (i.e. The United States) history. I chose to study American imperialism and learned a great deal about how America interacts with other countries.

Primary Texts for the Class Were: American History Now edited by Eric Foner, Writing Mexican History edited by Eric Van Young, and Canadian History by John Douglas Belshaw.

Books I read for my historiography: Dominance by Design by Michael Adas, Reproducing Empire, by Laura Briggs,  Strangers in the Land by John Higham, America and the Americas by Lester D. Langely, and America's Mission by Tony Smith. 

   - American Colonial History: In this class, I studied religion in the Colonial American period. In particular, I dug deep into the Palatines, a group of Germans who immigrated to New York in 1710. Eventually, the Palatines lived with the Mohawks for about 50 years until relations deteriorated with the advent of the American Revolutionary War. 

Primary Texts I read for the class: The First Prejudice edited by Chris Beneke.

Texts I read for my Research paper (not including the primary sources which included baptism and marriage records): Under the Cope of Heaven by Patricia U. Bonomi, The Rude Hand of Innovation by David G. Hackett, Early Eighteenth Century Palatine Emigration by Walter Allen Knittle, The Platine Families of New York by Henry Z. Jones, New World Faiths, by Jon Butler, The Texture of Contact by David L. Preston, Becoming German by Philip Otterness, and The Ordeal of the Longhouse by Daniel K. Richter.

   - European History: This class was an overview of the major themes and historical events of European History from 1700 to the present. We discussed the Enlightenment, the Industrial Revolution, the Age of Revolutions, British Imperialism in India and South Africa, Vienna at the turn of the century, the Holocaust, and the Soviet Union. My favorite book was Fin-de-Siecle Vienna by Carl E. Schorske. 

Primary Texts I read for the class: The Enlightened Economy by Joel Mokyr, Men on Horseback by David A. Bell, Barbed-Wire Imperialism by Aidan Forth, Ordinary Men by Christopher R. Browning, and Everything Was Forever by Alexei Yurchak. 

2. Trent had an amazing year. He finished his freshman year at BYU-Idaho during the pandemic. I am proud of him for living on his own, making his own food, navigating roommates, and doing online school. It wasn't easy but he did it. In the spring he came home, started working on his mission papers, and got a job at DeCicco's Grocery Store. He worked at DeCicco's nearly full-time for six months until he left on his mission. Trent was called to serve in the Utah, Ogden mission and started the home MTC on November 23rd. Trent flew to Utah on November 30th and started the Provo MTC the next day. He is working hard and is exactly where he should be. 

3. Josef spent this year working, dating, and going to school. Joe worked at DeCiccos until the summer and then worked for our town as a lifeguard at the local lakes. Joe had a girlfriend, then broke up with her, and is meeting new girls. Right now he is going to school and looking at colleges. His big dream is to become a pilot and his dream school is Vaughn University in New York. Josef made a goal to become stronger and more muscular. He has worked hard lifting weights and going to the gym six days a week. He studied nutrition to figure out what foods would help him meet his goal. 

4. Brooke made a big change in her hair this year. She went from having long hair down to her waist to a shoulder-length cut. She is also finding her personal style which is quirky, playful, and sometimes ridiculous. Brooke started the Science Research Program with an emphasis on psychological behavior. Her dream is to become a psychologist. Brooke has been working hard to stand up for herself and figure out who she is. She LOVES being an aunt and is great with little kids. She has a very grumpy, cantankerous cat that she adores. 

5. Jonathan is doing so well. He hated online school with a passion and is now happily back at school doing great. In fact, he recently told me he was disappointed because his lowest grade was a 92--in Mandarin Chinese. Both Jonathan and Winter are taking Mandarin at school and really enjoy it. Jonathan joined the cross-country running team and absolutely loved it. He worked hard to improve his time in each race. Jon still loves playing video games with his friends and cousins. He loves cooking and often experiments with recipes. He makes excellent homemade french fries. 

6. Winter is a happy and fun second grader. She loves life! Winter writes songs and her stage name is Jewel Wacaser. She has a youtube channel where she plays with her toys, unboxes surprises boxes, and crafts. Winter started taking piano lessons from me and is picking it up very quickly. She played soccer in the spring and fall and really enjoyed it. Winter had a benign dermoid cyst surgically removed from her arm in January. She did great with the surgery and recovered well.

7. Brent is amazing and we all adore him. He works very hard at IBM as a research scientist. He loves his research group and puts a lot of effort into his work. Brent also serves as the Bishop of our congregation, a job which is especially demanding right now because of the pandemic. Brent loves playing with the kids, working on projects, and spending time with me. 

8. Walter's and Avery's family--Walter is a dad twice over. He is working hard at school and taking care of his family. Avery is a terrific mother to her daughters. We spent a few weeks this summer helping out when their second daughter was born. I love my granddaughters! I loved playing with B and taking her outside. I cuddled M a lot. B has an adventurous palate and will try lots of different foods. B loves her aunts and uncles, especially Uncle Trent. We are so thankful for their family.

10. Our niece, Morgan, moved to New York to work as a nanny for six months. We loved spending time with her and grew very close to her. Morgan is so smart and interesting. She has a strong work ethic and also brings fun and laughter. I feel like she is one of my kids. We all miss her since she went back west. 

11. After a year of not going to the city, we went to NYC several times. We enjoyed Central Park, Times Square, the Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 Memorial, New York pizza, the Manhattan Temple, The American Museum of Natural History, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, etc. 

12. In July we drove up to Niagara Falls and Palmyra, New York. We were wowed by Niagara Falls at night and appreciated the peace and sacredness of the religious sites in Palmyra where the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was restored. 

13. We explored the beauty of StoneCrop Gardens in the spring. I love New York in the spring with the flowering trees, pops of green, and stunning displays of flowers. 

14. We saw our first Yankees game in person at the Yankee Stadium. I don't really care for baseball because it is slow. But it was still very fun to be in the stadium and watch the game with Morgan and Tonya. 

15. Some of the kids participated in sports! I am not athletic at all and dislike playing sports. However, some of kids enjoy it. Josef, Winter, and Jonathan played soccer. Josef played for his high school soccer team and worked so hard. Jonathan and Winter played in a town program. Jonathan ran cross-country.

16. We spent time in Utah and Wyoming this summer. The west was plagued by summer wildfires and the air was smoky. But that didn't stop us from getting outdoors and spending time with family.

17. This was a year of babies! Not for Brent and I, but with our extended family. My sister and niece had babies in December. My granddaughter was born in July. Two of our friends had babies in New York and we were able to cuddle their babies and support our friends. Our family experienced great miracles with the three babies that were born despite medical complications. 

18. We spent time in the Adirondacks playing in the water, enjoying the fresh air, and soaked in the peaceful atmosphere. 

19. Everyone in our family got vaccinated for Covid-19. We are so grateful for the miracle of having 3 vaccines to choose from a year into the pandemic. It is a relief to have some extra protection against this virus. 

20. We spent time with a lot of our family. I was able to see several of my sisters: Stephanie, Lori, Trisha, Nicole, and Chelsea.  We saw Brent's brother and family. Troy just returned home from a deployment. Tonya came out to New York to visit her daughter and to see us!

I spent time with my cousins Kathy and Pam, and their daughters. I reconnected with all my female Christler cousins through a group text. We keep each other updated on life's events and ask for prayers. We also said goodbye to beloved family members.  My Aunt Shirley passed away. I was able to see her twice before she passed. She was at peace with her life and looking forward to seeing her sister on the other side.

 Brent lost both his grandmothers this year. Grandma Joyce Artis was a faithful woman who left a legacy of faith, compassion, and deep love. Grandma Dorothy Wacaser was a women of energy, courage, and strength. They will be both deeply missed.

21. Finally, we learned to live with and adapt to the Covid-19 Pandemic. My children wore masks to school and while playing sports.  For part of the year, they went to school online remotely. We wore masks at stores, restaurants, and at movies. We watched the news, followed the incomprehensible CDC regulations, washed our hands, and tried to be careful. It's a constant challenge to remain vigilant and careful but also live fully. And we did live fully. We traveled quite a lot around the country. We saw friends and family. We invited friends to our home and extended help to others in need. We attended church and served our church community. We didn't let Covid slow us down.