Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Filling His Bucket and Dealing With Anger

A few funny anecdotes from my youngest son, Bubba J.

Yesterday, I took my youngest son with me on some after school errands because he gets awfully cranky and I wanted to make it easier for my oldest son to watch the other kids. Bubba J asked why he was going with me and I said that he was often cranky after school and it would be easier for everyone. He said, in a very serious tone, "I have a lot of anger inside me." When I asked why, he said, "My sister makes annoying sounds and they make me very angry." I chuckled and left it at that. The next morning, my daughter was whining/crying because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her to calm down and stop crying so she could eat. She stopped and Bubba J said to her in a very kind voice, " Thank you for stopping. You were starting to fill me up with anger."

After Bubba J helped me with my errands yesterday, he said, "I was a good helper today. I filled up your bucket." I thought he was talking about a literal bucket and asked him what he meant. He explained to me that at school they talk about filling their invisible buckets with good deeds and kindness. Since then, we have talked about how we fill up each other's buckets. I love that he is so aware of how he feels and also wants to feel good. He is also aware of what helps him feel good. He is so self-aware.

The last incident made me a little grumpy but later made me laugh. One morning, my older son, T, was having a hard time getting out the door. He frequently gets distracted and constantly needs to be redirected. I lost my temper and shouted at him to leave. After he walked out the door, Bubba J turned to me and said, in a gentle voice, "Mommy, if you would speak to T in a gentle, soft voice, he would listen better." I guess he missed the part where I had talked to his brother that way. However, he was right. My five year old is very wise and many of his gentle ways make a big difference in our family.


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