Monday, September 1, 2014

A month of posts

My September Goals

1) 10 Egypt scrapbook layouts
2) Finish June and July Project Life
3) Study women in the scriptures
    A) week 1: Old Testament women
    B) week 2: New Testament women
    C) week 3: Book of Mormon women
     D) week 4: Church History women
4) blog daily
5) Read A Town Like Alice
6) Organize study
7) Plan meals/budget
8) Start teaching piano to Brooke and Josef

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


Thursday, July 31, 2014

Parenting Children With ADHD: Chapter 1 Summary

Introduction: Two of my children have been officially diagnosed with ADHD and both are taking medication to manage some of their more challenging behaviors. Dealing with these children is full of ups and downs. Lately, it has become increasingly difficult to effectively parent our older child with ADHD. In my search for information and help, I have come across some books about ADHD that seem to be helpful. In order for me to better process and retain the information, I have to summarize it.

Parenting Children With ADHD: 10 Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach by Vincent J. Monastra, PhD.  (all quotes and pages cited in this blog piece come from the 2010 edition that is linked here.)

The author is a clinical psychologist who conducts research about ADHD. In my google search on Dr. Monastra, it appears that he is still a practicing psychologist.


Chapter 1 summary:
Monastra sets the scene with the ever present debate about ADHD between two so-called "experts". I am more than familiar with all the ideas that ADHD is a false disorder and that it is a product of bad parenting or changed expectations for children. The accusation is also levied against big pharma companies that ADHD is a manufactured condition designed to force parents to buy expensive and unnecessary drugs.  Indeed these accusations can be incredibly devastating to parents like myself who are struggling to cope with the demands that parenting a child with ADHD bring. We often feel that we ARE failures as parents, despite all the effort we put in on a daily basis striving to help our children.

The Nation Institutes of Health (NIH) organized a conference in 1998 where specialists from all over the world reviewed over one thousand scientific studies about the causes and treatment for ADHD. Based on research and the collective expertise of these specialists, they determined that "ADHD was indeed a health impairment that (when untreated) increased a person's risk for failure at school, for involvement in substance abuse and criminal activities, and for the development of a variety of problems at work and in social relationships." (pg. 13).

To provide clarity, Dr. Monastra provides information about the Five Diagnostic Criteria used to diagnose ADHD: Inattention and Hyperactivity-Impulsivity, symptoms must be present before age 7, some impairment must be present in a least two different settings, there must be clear evidence of significant impairment in the school setting, other medical causes must be ruled out.

Inattention and Hyperactivity/Impuslivity: There are 9 types of inattentive behaviors, 6 types of hyperactive behaviors, and 3 types of Impulsive behaviors. In order to accurately diagnose ADHD, the patient must have at least 6 types of inattentive behavior as well as 6 types of hyperactive and/or impulsive behavior, for a total of 12 types of problem behaviors. There are diagnostic forms that are usually given to parents and teachers to rate the children.

Symptoms must be present before age 7. The book makes it clear that the child doesn't have to be diagnosed by this age--indeed diagnosis can be made at any age, but usually in 5 major periods of the child's life. But symptoms should definitely be observed by age 7 for it to be considered truly ADHD.

Some impairment must be present in two different settings. It is really important to measure that impairment geniunely occurs in more than one setting. The diagnostic questionnaires are often filled out by both teachers and parents to see how the children do in different settings.

Significant impairment in the school setting is often determined through grades, teacher feedback, and school assessments.

Other medical causes must be ruled out. Dr. Monastra stressed that this criteria is often overlooked by health care professionals when diagnosing ADHD. There are a number of treatable conditions which can cause inattention such as: hypoglycemia, anemia, diabetes, thyroid disorders, sleep apnea, allergies, dietary insufficiences of zinc and magnesium. Concentration problems can be cause by problems with visual tracking and convergence. Dr. Monastra strongly encourages the reader to make sure other medical causes are ruled out before making a final ADHD diagnosis.

My thoughts: I appreciated the breakdown of how an ADHD diagnosis is made. It was especially helpful to consider that other medical conditions must be ruled out. I know that when my kids were diagnosed, the doctor followed the pattern described above, with one exception--as far as I know other medical conditions were not ruled out with blood work. I would like to follow up with my doctor.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Swedish Midsommar Party

Many of my friends received an invitation to celebrate a Swedish midsommar party with us. I'm sure you have lots of questions.

What the heck is a Swedish Midsommar Party?
Midsommar is typically celebrated on June 21st in Sweden. It is the longest day of the year. Sweden is far enough north that in the summer they have really, really long days. In the winter days are very short. Swedes love the sun and they love celebrating summer. However, in the five years I lived in Sweden, not one Midsommar celebration I attended was sunny. It usually rained every single time!


During the celebration, Swedes dance around a decorated maypole of sorts. They sing silly songs about small frogs and summer. Just a note, Swedes sing for everything! They have songs for everything. They have special summer hymns they only sing in the summer. They have tons of drinking songs. When my husband and I used to attend graduation parties, we would get several copied pages with words to various drinking songs. These songs were sung with every toast. It was fun to sing along. Also, I have noted that Swedes are pretty reserved, except when they are drinking. They are the only drunks I know that actually sound good when they sing, lol!


Most of the women wear summer dresses and make wreaths of flowers to wear in their hair. Some people wear the Swedish National Costume. 



They also eat yummy food, like cake with fresh strawberries, eggs, fruit, potatoes, and pickled herring in sauce.  


Most Swedes drink a lot of alcohol during the celebration. Since I don't drink, I always skip this part of the celebration. 

So what exactly are we going to do at our Midsommar?

We'll eat Swedish meatballs, make a maypole and dance around it, enjoy the beginning of the summer, and socialize. The only thing we are going to skip is the alcohol. 

Can't wait to see you all!

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED





Friday, April 25, 2014

Advice Needed: My Daughter Feels Like We Are Poor.

Last week my seven-year old daughter told me that we are poor. I asked her why she felt that way and she said,"Because we can't buy all the toys I want."

Frankly, I was shocked at the comment. My husband has a very good job and makes a very good salary. However, we happen to live in one of the most expensive parts of the United States and while our property taxes aren't the highest in the nation, they are very close. Because of the high cost of living in our area, we have enough for all our needs but very little for our wants. I talk to my kids about budgeting. I am not the kind of mom that buys her kids stuff all the time.

I talked to her about what being poor really means and reminded her of an experience we had in Egypt. We visited Garbage Mountain, a place where the poorest people in Cairo live. The garbage is sent to this place and these people sort through the garbage and eek a living out of it. We went there while they were having a religious festival. I was stunned at the happy attitude of the children living there. You can read more about Garbage Mountain here.

This morning, my daughter made a comment to me again about how she wanted her dad to make more money. I realized that something is going on in her little mind about money and how she perceives it.

Here are my questions:

How do you teach your kids about money and budgeting?
How do you talk to your kids about poverty and wealth?
How do you promote gratitude about what you have?

I would love to read what you think, so PLEASE comment!

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Monday, March 31, 2014

Celebrating 37 Years of Life

I turned 37 yesterday. My two oldest boys woke me up with hugs and kisses just before they left for school. My oldest son isn't much for hugs and kisses these days, so his hug felt extra precious. My little baby snuggled in close to me as I fed her. Then my four-year old son and seven-year old daughter burst into my room, dancing with excitement as they half-yelled their birthday greetings to me. I feel so richly blessed to be the mother of six pretty great kids and the wife to an amazing man. My parents and sisters sent their birthday greetings through text messages and phone calls. Later in the day, my Facebook feed and Instagram feeds were flooded with birthday wishes from friends all over the world, reminding me how rich my life really is.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Stones, bugs, and a new baby

In the spirit of sharing those ordinary stories I wrote about yesterday, I am going to inundate you with details about the ailments plaguing our family. Just kidding. I won't go into all the details, because. . . yuck.

Since January. . .
four cases of strep throat
two cases of ear infections
seven really bad colds and coughs
the stomach flu has stalked us this week, making the rounds through most of my children
more stomach ailments (the specifics of which I won't frighten you)
Kidney stones
more colds and congestion

We've had antibiotics, breathing treatments, nasal sprays, and crackers. Lots and lots of crackers.

In two days, I had an ultrasound, ct scan, and x-ray for my kidney stones. While waiting at the hospital to get my scan, I remarked to my husband that I was the most expensive family member because we spend the most money on me. And we aren't spending it on fun stuff like books, scrapbooking supplies, or jewelry. No, we spend it on boring (and possibly, lifesaving) stuff like ct scans. Fortunately, or unfortunately, whichever way you want to take it, we have met the deductible of our high deductible insurance plan. I think I did that just with the birth of my baby. Hospitals are expensive! I got the bill for the one-night stay in the hospital and was floored. I've stayed in some REALLY nice hotels in the Middle-East that were far less expensive and much more luxurious. Still, they didn't come with the cutest little baby on the planet. So I'll take the expensive bill and enjoy my little one.

And just to prove that she is the cutest baby on the planet, feast on this. . .


Warning: Babies this cute have been known to induce intense baby hunger.

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Friday, March 21, 2014

Recording an Ordinary Life


Snuggling my new baby girl and reading.
It's the simple things in life. . . 
I recently began reading the book, Little House in the Big Woods, to my children. The story is deceptively simple one of a young girl living in the woods with her family. Their life revolves around survival at it's most basic core. Pa hunts animals and then he and his family spend much of their time preserving food for the coming winter. Of course there are fun times such as playing with a ball made from a pig's bladder. These details must have seemed mundane and ordinary to Mrs. Wilder as she recalled them. However mundane and ordinary the details are, they compel us with their simplicity. The Little House Series reminds me that I have stories of my own to tell, even though the details seem insignificant and small.

Joe Fassler wrote a fascinating piece in The Atlantic about the author, Claire Messud. In "Words on Paper Will Outlast Us": How Claire Messud Distills Her Life,"  Claire Messud says this,"Just because we lose so much does not make the small fragments we do preserve less valuable--quite the opposite. Storytelling is a human impulse, and making meaning is a human impulse. We want to make sense of things, and we will always try to tell the fuller story from the fragments that we've got. . . There is always a world to discover within the shards we have."

This article blew me away as author Claire Messud reminds us that once we are gone, what remains of us is often words on paper. Eventually the people who knew us best and loved us will die, and their memories will die with them. Isn't this so true? Haven't we all lost people in our lives whose presence are gone because of what they haven't written? And don't we treasure those fragments we have even more because of their scarcity?

My grandparents died more than a decade ago. I have hundreds of questions I would ask them if they were with me right now. Those unanswered questions compel me to share my own stories and experiences  through blogging and scrapbooking. The last eight months of my life have been incredibly full, but also difficult to record in blogging. I simply haven't had the energy to write lengthy or even brief blog posts. What I have recorded comes in short, almost cryptic phrases that I am now starting to flesh out.

I believe very strongly that we all have stories of our ordinary lives to tell. Remember that life isn't just about the grand moments or the big events that punctuate our stories. We all have small moments and details that paint a big picture of a life well-lived.

My challenge to you is take some time today to start telling your story in a journal, blog post, or a letter. It doesn't have to be grand or earth-shaking. Just share a piece of yourself.

Share with me what prevents you from recording your life. If you do take time to journal or blog, what keeps you going?


Here are some ideas to get you started:
What's on your shopping list? And what does that say about your life and family? How does it compare to your shopping list last year?
What is your routine like in the morning? (Trust me, you'll want to write this down because it really does change based on the schools your children are in or where you live.)
What is the hardest part of your day and why?
What is something you do well?
What is something you do really, really badly?
What is an accomplishment you are proud of?
What is something you regret and why?
Share a favorite childhood memory.
What subject were you best at in school?
What was your hardest subject in school?
What do you do that relaxes you?
What stresses you out?

Have fun!

© 2007-2016 TIFFANY WACASER ALL RIGHTS RESERVED