Wondering Wednesday: Married Love

New, romantic love is idealized on TV, in movies and literature, and in popular culture. All too often, married love or mature love is seen as something kind of boring, which seems pretty shortsighted. I get it, the rush of hormones, butterflies and excitement when falling into love is intoxicating and can't be beat.

My husband and I have been married for 18 years and I still can't stop myself thinking about him constantly during the day. I feel so deeply in love and wonderfully happy. The feelings I have now have a depth and strength that I didn't experience or understand when we first fell in love.

For me, married love looks and feels like this:

• My husband washes the dishes and mops the floor because he knows how I hate a yucky floor, even though he is tired and would like to sleep.
• Curling up together in our bed after a long day outdoors with our kids and listening to the crickets chirp.
• Crying tears of joy as we experience the birth of each of our children.

• Listening to one another's complaints as we struggle with jobs we like or challenges that are hard.
• Being a cheerleader to one another when a growth opportunity comes along.
• Being so mad at each other you can hardly see straight, but still loving them and wanting to work it out.
• Commiserating over the challenges of parenting.
• Laughing over private jokes and silly stories.
• Watching my husband sit with our daughter on our front porch eating ice cream after pushing her in the swing for a long time.

• Sneaking in passionate kisses when the kids aren't looking-and even sometimes when they are.
• Grieving together when tragedy strikes.
• Holding each other tight and pressing forward when faced with difficult challenges.
• Sending funny texts to one another during the day and saying how much we love and miss one another.
• Meeting each other for lunch at his office. 
• Making his favorite meal for his birthday dinner.

•  Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness when you have wronged one another.
• Extending forgiveness and grace to one another.
• Feeling like you have been together forever and yet it was just yesterday when you fell in love.
• Staying up late at night just to talk to each other. 
• Disagreeing about politics but still listening to each other anyway.
• Going away for a much needed night away and just enjoying one another's company.

• Missing each other when we are apart and calling at crazy hours just to hear their voice.
• Relying on one another completely. 
• Really and truly being friends. 

I could go on forever but I'll stop here. Have you experienced this deepening and strengthening of love? If so, what does it look and feel like to you?


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